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interests / alt.humor.puns / Re: Redneck Jokes?

SubjectAuthor
* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
`* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
 `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
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   `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
    `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
     `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
      `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
       `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
        +- Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
        `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
         `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
          `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
           `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
            `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
             `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
              `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
               `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                 `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                  `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                   `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                    `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                     `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                      `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                       `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                        `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
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                          `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                           `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                            `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                             `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                              `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                               `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                 `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                  `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                   `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                    `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                     `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                      `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                       `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                        `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                         `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                          `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                           `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                            `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
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                                                               `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                 `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                  `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                   `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                    `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                     `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                      `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                       `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                        `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                         `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                          `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                           `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                            `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                             `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                              `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                               `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                 `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                  `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                   `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                    `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                     `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                      `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                       `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                        `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                         `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                          `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                           `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                            `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                             `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                              `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                               `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                                `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer
                                                                                                 `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Mike
                                                                                                  `* Re: Redneck Jokes?Don Stockbauer

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Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Date: Thu, 26 Oct 2023 00:30:08 -0700
From: mlevines...@redshift.com (Mike)
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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
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 by: Mike - Thu, 26 Oct 2023 07:30 UTC

On Oct 25, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<18ed013d-1502-415d-9f4c-edf04cbf4074n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > What with their good old boy network in play, why would they bother
> > > > > > waiting??? A homeless person told me that he was locked up so if you act
> > > > > > up in jail,
> > > > > they have a big chair that they strap you into for hours on end. If you
> > > > > need
> > > > > to go to the bathroom, you're forced to do it on the chair. Did they
> > > > > make you clean it before taking your your turn in it???
> > > no, like I said, they make you go to the bathroom right there sitting in it
> > > and I wasn't able to turn in the chair because I was strapped in tight
> > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not supposed to
> > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX LIFE!!!!!

You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Thu, 26 Oct 2023 14:39 UTC

On Thursday, October 26, 2023 at 2:30:20 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 25, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<18ed013d-1502-415d...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > What with their good old boy network in play, why would they bother
> > > > > > > waiting??? A homeless person told me that he was locked up so if you act
> > > > > > > up in jail,
> > > > > > they have a big chair that they strap you into for hours on end.. If you
> > > > > > need
> > > > > > to go to the bathroom, you're forced to do it on the chair. Did they
> > > > > > make you clean it before taking your your turn in it???
> > > > no, like I said, they make you go to the bathroom right there sitting in it
> > > > and I wasn't able to turn in the chair because I was strapped in tight
> > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not supposed to
> > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX LIFE!!!!!
>
> You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention it

I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the actors were inept at tying knots.

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
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 by: Mike - Fri, 27 Oct 2023 09:42 UTC

On Oct 26, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f52c4963-0d8d-4a2c-a52e-8999c7135bc0n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > they have a big chair that they strap you into for hours on end. If you
> > > > > > > need
> > > > > > > to go to the bathroom, you're forced to do it on the chair. Did they
> > > > > > > make you clean it before taking your your turn in it???
> > > > > no, like I said, they make you go to the bathroom right there sitting in
> > > > > it
> > > > > and I wasn't able to turn in the chair because I was strapped in tight
> > > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not supposed
> > > > to
> > > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX LIFE!!!!! You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up.
>
> Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention it
>
> I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the actors
> were inept at tying knots.

They were naughty about being knot-y

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Fri, 27 Oct 2023 13:16 UTC

On Friday, October 27, 2023 at 4:42:48 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 26, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<f52c4963-0d8d-4a2c...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > they have a big chair that they strap you into for hours on end. If you
> > > > > > > > need
> > > > > > > > to go to the bathroom, you're forced to do it on the chair. Did they
> > > > > > > > make you clean it before taking your your turn in it???
> > > > > > no, like I said, they make you go to the bathroom right there sitting in
> > > > > > it
> > > > > > and I wasn't able to turn in the chair because I was strapped in tight
> > > > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not supposed
> > > > > to
> > > > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX LIFE!!!!! You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up.
> >
> > Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention it
> >
> > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the actors
> > were inept at tying knots.
> They were naughty about being knot-y
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

And when they sailed to Europe, they traveled at 40 naughts.

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<0001HW.2AEC0882000BE5D370000BAC738F@news.supernews.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
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 by: Mike - Fri, 27 Oct 2023 15:02 UTC

On Oct 27, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<9c82e430-1224-42b1-af7f-e10d6d3b22fan@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > no, like I said, they make you go to the bathroom right there sitting
> > > > > > > in
> > > > > > > it
> > > > > > > and I wasn't able to turn in the chair because I was strapped in tight
> > > > > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not
> > > > > > supposed
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX
> > > > > > LIFE!!!!! You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up. Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention it
> > > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the
> > > actors
> > > were inept at tying knots.
> > They were naughty about being knot-y And when they sailed to Europe, they traveled at 40 naughts.

Not for lack of trying.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<cfa1c34f-fbc0-438a-a96d-2c05f6ed6cbfn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
Injection-Date: Fri, 27 Oct 2023 22:52:53 +0000
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Fri, 27 Oct 2023 22:52 UTC

On Friday, October 27, 2023 at 10:02:38 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 27, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<9c82e430-1224-42b1...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > no, like I said, they make you go to the bathroom right there sitting
> > > > > > > > in
> > > > > > > > it
> > > > > > > > and I wasn't able to turn in the chair because I was strapped in tight
> > > > > > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not
> > > > > > > supposed
> > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX
> > > > > > > LIFE!!!!! You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up. Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention it
> > > > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the
> > > > actors
> > > > were inept at tying knots.
> > > They were naughty about being knot-y And when they sailed to Europe, they traveled at 40 naughts.
>
> Not for lack of trying.

"Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe. "

"Shut up and keep swimming."

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<0001HW.2AECFF69000300E1700003DFF38F@news.supernews.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
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 by: Mike - Sat, 28 Oct 2023 08:35 UTC

On Oct 27, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<cfa1c34f-fbc0-438a-a96d-2c05f6ed6cbfn@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not
> > > > > > > > supposed
> > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX
> > > > > > > > LIFE!!!!! You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up.
> > > > > > > > Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention
> > > > > > > > it
> > > > > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the
> > > > > actors
> > > > > were inept at tying knots.
> > > > They were naughty about being knot-y And when they sailed to Europe, they
> > > > traveled at 40 naughts.
> >
> > Not for lack of trying.
>
> "Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe. "
>
> "Shut up and keep swimming.”

It would be easier if he were not pulling that boat with mommy riding in it.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<a780f269-a8b3-473d-827f-9b861814e30dn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
Injection-Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2023 18:42:28 +0000
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Sat, 28 Oct 2023 18:42 UTC

On Saturday, October 28, 2023 at 3:36:04 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 27, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<cfa1c34f-fbc0-438a...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > But you were enjoying it so much they released you as it was not
> > > > > > > > > supposed
> > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > be an enjoyable experience. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY KINKY SEX
> > > > > > > > > LIFE!!!!! You mention it all the time so I was bound to bring it up.
> > > > > > > > > Well, you bring up your B&D all the time so you were bound to mention
> > > > > > > > > it
> > > > > > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the
> > > > > > actors
> > > > > > were inept at tying knots.
> > > > > They were naughty about being knot-y And when they sailed to Europe, they
> > > > > traveled at 40 naughts.
> > >
> > > Not for lack of trying.
> >
> > "Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe. "
> >
> > "Shut up and keep swimming.”
>
> It would be easier if he were not pulling that boat with mommy riding in it.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

I read this book titled "Coroner to the stars", and it was written by some Japanese guy. I can't remember his name. He did autopsies on a lot of the big stars , he did the autopsy on Natalie Wood, and he didn't think there was any malice by Robert Wagner , but she was so drunk she fell overboard and she was too drunk to even climb up into the little dingy thingy there , and he said something about she was only like 200 feet or so in the water off Catalina island and something about that she tried to swim to the beach and was pulling the dinghy behind her, but she was too drunk and she actually drowned like 200 feet off shore. It was really sad .

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<0001HW.2AEE4C2C0003A91A70000E29038F@news.supernews.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns
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 by: Mike - Sun, 29 Oct 2023 08:15 UTC

On Oct 28, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<a780f269-a8b3-473d-827f-9b861814e30dn@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the
> > > > > > > actors
> > > > > > > were inept at tying knots.
> > > > > > They were naughty about being knot-y And when they sailed to Europe,
> > > > > > they
> > > > > > traveled at 40 naughts. Not for lack of trying. "Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe. "
> > > "Shut up and keep swimming.” It would be easier if he were not pulling that boat with mommy riding in it.
>
> I read this book titled "Coroner to the stars", and it was written by some
> Japanese guy. I can't remember his name. He did autopsies on a lot of the big
> stars , he did the autopsy on Natalie Wood, and he didn't think there was any
> malice by Robert Wagner , but she was so drunk she fell overboard and she was
> too drunk to even climb up into the little dingy thingy there , and he said
> something about she was only like 200 feet or so in the water off Catalina
> island and something about that she tried to swim to the beach and was
> pulling the dinghy behind her, but she was too drunk and she actually drowned
> like 200 feet off shore. It was really sad .

But the conspiracy theorists want to think jut the opposite.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<7815bebe-b4ee-48e3-9efa-c750186ed023n@googlegroups.com>

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Message-ID: <7815bebe-b4ee-48e3-9efa-c750186ed023n@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
Injection-Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2023 13:17:03 +0000
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Sun, 29 Oct 2023 13:17 UTC

On Sunday, October 29, 2023 at 3:15:50 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 28, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<a780f269-a8b3-473d...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > I saw this B&D movie one time and the funny thing about it was all the
> > > > > > > > actors
> > > > > > > > were inept at tying knots.
> > > > > > > They were naughty about being knot-y And when they sailed to Europe,
> > > > > > > they
> > > > > > > traveled at 40 naughts. Not for lack of trying. "Mommy, mommy, I don't want to go to Europe. "
> > > > "Shut up and keep swimming.” It would be easier if he were not pulling that boat with mommy riding in it.
> >
> > I read this book titled "Coroner to the stars", and it was written by some
> > Japanese guy. I can't remember his name. He did autopsies on a lot of the big
> > stars , he did the autopsy on Natalie Wood, and he didn't think there was any
> > malice by Robert Wagner , but she was so drunk she fell overboard and she was
> > too drunk to even climb up into the little dingy thingy there , and he said
> > something about she was only like 200 feet or so in the water off Catalina
> > island and something about that she tried to swim to the beach and was
> > pulling the dinghy behind her, but she was too drunk and she actually drowned
> > like 200 feet off shore. It was really sad .
> But the conspiracy theorists want to think jut the opposite.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

they can conspire all they want. They won't do any good she's dead.

I was in a hotel south of Dealey Plaza right during the anniversary of the assassination and there were these notices posted all over the place that a conspiracy group was meeting there, so I got in the elevator and there's some guy there and I asked him what the thing was all about you know just to get some information on it just kind of innocently and he was a real smart ass. He said well somebody shot the guy . and I answered back: I thought he was still in office !
boy did I get him you know those smart ass games are really fun .

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<0001HW.2AEEB40A000933C370000667C38F@news.supernews.com>

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Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2023 08:38:50 -0700
From: mlevines...@redshift.com (Mike)
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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns
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 by: Mike - Sun, 29 Oct 2023 15:38 UTC

On Oct 29, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7815bebe-b4ee-48e3-9efa-c750186ed023n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > "Shut up and keep swimming.” It would be easier if he were not pulling
> > > > > that boat with mommy riding in it.
> > >
> > > I read this book titled "Coroner to the stars", and it was written by some
> > > Japanese guy. I can't remember his name. He did autopsies on a lot of the
> > > big
> > > stars , he did the autopsy on Natalie Wood, and he didn't think there was
> > > any
> > > malice by Robert Wagner , but she was so drunk she fell overboard and she
> > > was
> > > too drunk to even climb up into the little dingy thingy there , and he said
> > > something about she was only like 200 feet or so in the water off Catalina
> > > island and something about that she tried to swim to the beach and was
> > > pulling the dinghy behind her, but she was too drunk and she actually
> > > drowned
> > > like 200 feet off shore. It was really sad .
> > But the conspiracy theorists want to think jut the opposite.
> \they can conspire all they want. They won't do any good she's dead.
>
> I was in a hotel south of Dealey Plaza right during the anniversary of the
> assassination and there were these notices posted all over the place that a
> conspiracy group was meeting there, so I got in the elevator and there's some
> guy there and I asked him what the thing was all about you know just to get
> some information on it just kind of innocently and he was a real smart ass.
> He said well somebody shot the guy . and I answered back: I thought he was
> still in office !
> boy did I get him you know those smart ass games are really fun .

And the only way to shut him up.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<2033af04-5cf5-4c84-adc4-53f28aae42b6n@googlegroups.com>

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Message-ID: <2033af04-5cf5-4c84-adc4-53f28aae42b6n@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
Injection-Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2023 19:56:21 +0000
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Sun, 29 Oct 2023 19:56 UTC

On Sunday, October 29, 2023 at 10:39:03 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 29, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<7815bebe-b4ee-48e3...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > "Shut up and keep swimming.” It would be easier if he were not pulling
> > > > > > that boat with mommy riding in it.
> > > >
> > > > I read this book titled "Coroner to the stars", and it was written by some
> > > > Japanese guy. I can't remember his name. He did autopsies on a lot of the
> > > > big
> > > > stars , he did the autopsy on Natalie Wood, and he didn't think there was
> > > > any
> > > > malice by Robert Wagner , but she was so drunk she fell overboard and she
> > > > was
> > > > too drunk to even climb up into the little dingy thingy there , and he said
> > > > something about she was only like 200 feet or so in the water off Catalina
> > > > island and something about that she tried to swim to the beach and was
> > > > pulling the dinghy behind her, but she was too drunk and she actually
> > > > drowned
> > > > like 200 feet off shore. It was really sad .
> > > But the conspiracy theorists want to think jut the opposite.
> > \they can conspire all they want. They won't do any good she's dead.
> >
> > I was in a hotel south of Dealey Plaza right during the anniversary of the
> > assassination and there were these notices posted all over the place that a
> > conspiracy group was meeting there, so I got in the elevator and there's some
> > guy there and I asked him what the thing was all about you know just to get
> > some information on it just kind of innocently and he was a real smart ass.
> > He said well somebody shot the guy . and I answered back: I thought he was
> > still in office !
> > boy did I get him you know those smart ass games are really fun .
> And the only way to shut him up.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

I went to the funeral of my cousin Bernard the casket lid was very heavy. It took three other cousins and myself to shut him up.

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<0001HW.2AEFC0E500052A7A700009F0138F@news.supernews.com>

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NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2023 10:45:57 +0000
Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2023 03:45:57 -0700
From: mlevines...@redshift.com (Mike)
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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns
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 by: Mike - Mon, 30 Oct 2023 10:45 UTC

On Oct 29, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<2033af04-5cf5-4c84-adc4-53f28aae42b6n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > But the conspiracy theorists want to think jut the opposite.
> > > \they can conspire all they want. They won't do any good she's dead.
> > >
> > > I was in a hotel south of Dealey Plaza right during the anniversary of the
> > > assassination and there were these notices posted all over the place that a
> > > conspiracy group was meeting there, so I got in the elevator and there's
> > > some
> > > guy there and I asked him what the thing was all about you know just to get
> > > some information on it just kind of innocently and he was a real smart ass.
> > > He said well somebody shot the guy . and I answered back: I thought he was
> > > still in office !
> > > boy did I get him you know those smart ass games are really fun .
> > And the only way to shut him up. I went to the funeral of my cousin Bernard the casket lid was very heavy. It
> took three other cousins and myself to shut him up.

But it takes more than that tomato a true Texan to shut up.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<f42d3353-5970-4258-857b-e7a11d214cf7n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Mon, 30 Oct 2023 12:44 UTC

On Monday, October 30, 2023 at 5:46:09 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 29, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<2033af04-5cf5-4c84...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > But the conspiracy theorists want to think jut the opposite.
> > > > \they can conspire all they want. They won't do any good she's dead..
> > > >
> > > > I was in a hotel south of Dealey Plaza right during the anniversary of the
> > > > assassination and there were these notices posted all over the place that a
> > > > conspiracy group was meeting there, so I got in the elevator and there's
> > > > some
> > > > guy there and I asked him what the thing was all about you know just to get
> > > > some information on it just kind of innocently and he was a real smart ass.
> > > > He said well somebody shot the guy . and I answered back: I thought he was
> > > > still in office !
> > > > boy did I get him you know those smart ass games are really fun .
> > > And the only way to shut him up. I went to the funeral of my cousin Bernard the casket lid was very heavy. It
> > took three other cousins and myself to shut him up.
> But it takes more than that tomato a true Texan to shut up.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to cram a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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From: mlevines...@redshift.com (Mike)
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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
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 by: Mike - Mon, 30 Oct 2023 15:40 UTC

On Oct 30, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f42d3353-5970-4258-857b-e7a11d214cf7n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > And the only way to shut him up. I went to the funeral of my cousin
> > > > Bernard the casket lid was very heavy. It
> > > took three other cousins and myself to shut him up.
> > But it takes more than that tomato a true Texan to shut up.
>
> no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to cram
> a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.

Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Mon, 30 Oct 2023 22:53 UTC

On Monday, October 30, 2023 at 10:40:17 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 30, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<f42d3353-5970-4258...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > And the only way to shut him up. I went to the funeral of my cousin
> > > > > Bernard the casket lid was very heavy. It
> > > > took three other cousins and myself to shut him up.
> > > But it takes more than that tomato a true Texan to shut up.
> >
> > no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to cram
> > a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.
> Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead from them?

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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 by: Mike - Tue, 31 Oct 2023 09:00 UTC

On Oct 30, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<e5ce629d-2c5d-44f1-b02d-39a61bc6a8fen@googlegroups.com>):
> > >
> > > no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to
> > > cram
> > > a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.
> > Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead
> from them?

Heinz - sight is always 100 percent

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Tue, 31 Oct 2023 13:12 UTC

On Tuesday, October 31, 2023 at 4:00:26 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 30, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<e5ce629d-2c5d-44f1...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > >
> > > > no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to
> > > > cram
> > > > a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.
> > > Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> > Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead
> > from them?
> Heinz - sight is always 100 percent
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

Heinz, who invented the sauce, always claimed that it could cure blindness, which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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 by: Mike - Tue, 31 Oct 2023 15:59 UTC

On Oct 31, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<911a22de-e6b4-407a-8213-7fa247dc64b2n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to
> > > > > cram
> > > > > a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.
> > > > Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> > > Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead
> > > from them?
> > Heinz - sight is always 100 percent Heinz, who invented the sauce, always claimed that it could cure blindness,
> which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.

But for me its what’s up front that counts

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Tue, 31 Oct 2023 18:43 UTC

On Tuesday, October 31, 2023 at 10:59:27 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 31, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<911a22de-e6b4-407a...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > no, as usual, you're wrong, all you have to do to shut up a Texan is to
> > > > > > cram
> > > > > > a tomato in his/her mouth. And then it doesn't always work.
> > > > > Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> > > > Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead
> > > > from them?
> > > Heinz - sight is always 100 percent Heinz, who invented the sauce, always claimed that it could cure blindness,
> > which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.
> But for me its what’s up front that counts
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

"It's what's up front that counts."

that's Darlene's motto

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
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 by: Mike - Tue, 31 Oct 2023 19:55 UTC

On Oct 31, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<ce383f5e-fc07-4a0f-badb-c9ba827c887dn@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> > > > > Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead
> > > > > from them?
> > > > Heinz - sight is always 100 percent Heinz, who invented the sauce, always
> > > > claimed that it could cure blindness,
> > > which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.
> > But for me its what’s up front that counts "It's what's up front that counts."
>
> that's Darlene's motto

She is also known for padding her part(s)

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<8ea1e22d-ea8b-4428-90b2-76b5b0ebb01cn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Tue, 31 Oct 2023 22:51 UTC

On Tuesday, October 31, 2023 at 2:55:42 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 31, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<ce383f5e-fc07-4a0f...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > Perhaps I need to ketchup on the latest techniques
> > > > > > Heinz 57 ketchup? What was wrong with the first 56 ?people keel over dead
> > > > > > from them?
> > > > > Heinz - sight is always 100 percent Heinz, who invented the sauce, always
> > > > > claimed that it could cure blindness,
> > > > which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.
> > > But for me its what’s up front that counts "It's what's up front that counts."
> >
> > that's Darlene's motto
> She is also known for padding her part(s)
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

and I'm known for paddling her parts.

Re: Redneck Jokes?

<0001HW.2AF249DF00027BAE70000950038F@news.supernews.com>

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 by: Mike - Wed, 1 Nov 2023 08:54 UTC

On Oct 31, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<8ea1e22d-ea8b-4428-90b2-76b5b0ebb01cn@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > Heinz - sight is always 100 percent Heinz, who invented the sauce,
> > > > > > always
> > > > > > claimed that it could cure blindness,
> > > > > which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.
> > > > But for me its what’s up front that counts "It's what's up front that
> > > > counts."
> > >
> > > that's Darlene's motto
> > She is also known for padding her part(s)
> and I'm known for paddling her parts.

A striking admission.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

Re: Redneck Jokes?

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Wed, 1 Nov 2023 14:48 UTC

On Wednesday, November 1, 2023 at 3:55:08 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Oct 31, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<8ea1e22d-ea8b-4428...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > Heinz - sight is always 100 percent Heinz, who invented the sauce,
> > > > > > > always
> > > > > > > claimed that it could cure blindness,
> > > > > > which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.
> > > > > But for me its what’s up front that counts "It's what's up front that
> > > > > counts."
> > > >
> > > > that's Darlene's motto
> > > She is also known for padding her part(s)
> > and I'm known for paddling her parts.
> A striking admission.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

Mary (Mary is Darlene's cousin , I don't want to mention Darlene too much here) and I rented a paddle boat going up and down the Guadalupe river, and since we're both into S&M, you can imagine the activity that took place there.

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Subject: Re: Redneck Jokes?
Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns
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 by: Mike - Wed, 1 Nov 2023 17:32 UTC

On Nov 1, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<11498273-56a8-4ddc-8a80-2d1db1daaf84n@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > \which he was , so he ate some, and it gave him Heinz-sight.
> > > > > > But for me its what’s up front that counts "It's what's up front that
> > > > > > counts."
> > > > >
> > > > > that's Darlene's motto
> > > > She is also known for padding her part(s)
> > > and I'm known for paddling her parts.
> > A striking admission. Mary (Mary is Darlene's cousin , I don't want to mention Darlene too much
> here) and I rented a paddle boat going up and down the Guadalupe river, and
> since we're both into S&M, you can imagine the activity that took place there.

More of your scull - duggery.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx


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