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interests / alt.life.sucks / Fanny's getting Married

SubjectAuthor
* Fanny's getting MarriedJudith Latham
+* Fanny's getting MarriedOllieNorthie@aol.com
|`* Fanny's getting MarriedJudith Latham
| +- Fanny's getting Marriedbosodeniro@gmail.com
| `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|  `* Fanny's getting Marriedbosodeniro@gmail.com
|   +* Fanny's getting MarriedJudith Latham
|   |`- Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|   `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|    `* Fanny's getting Marriedbosodeniro@gmail.com
|     `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|      `* Fanny's getting Marriedbosodeniro@gmail.com
|       `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|        `* Fanny's getting MarriedOllieNorthie@aol.com
|         `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|          `* Fanny's getting Marriedbosodeniro@gmail.com
|           `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|            `* Fanny's getting MarriedJudith Latham
|             `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|              `* Fanny's getting MarriedJudith Latham
|               `* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|                `* Fanny's getting MarriedOllieNorthie@aol.com
|                 +- Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|                 `* Fanny's getting MarriedOllieNorthie@aol.com
|                  `* Fanny's getting MarriedJudith Latham
|                   +* Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|                   |`- Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph
|                   `- Fanny's getting MarriedOllieNorthie@aol.com
`- Fanny's getting MarriedThomas Joseph

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Fanny's getting Married

<skpo6o$t5s$1@dont-email.me>

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From: jud...@sick-of-bullshit.invalid (Judith Latham)
Newsgroups: alt.life.sucks
Subject: Fanny's getting Married
Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2021 14:46:45 -0400
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 by: Judith Latham - Wed, 20 Oct 2021 18:46 UTC

What a surprise this turned out to be. None of us in the family had ever
seen Fanny with someone; not ever. We knew she went out sometimes and
didn't come home for an evening, but knowing Fanny's reputation, we
figured she was locked up for assaulting someone. This Sunday at our
family dinner (yes, Jews do have Sunday family dinners), Fanny announced
that she is gay and had met a woman she was going to marry. The woman's
name is Ethel and truth be told, she's a beautiful young lady, albeit
with a huge Jewish nose. What surprised us most was Fanny's announcement
that she's gay. We always knew she was much more masculine than
feminine, what with her muscles, tattoos and crew cut (a lean, mean 300
lbs) but I never took her for a clam digger. Anyways, she has asked me
to be her best man. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or flabbergasted.
While I'm honored to be considered as the person she feels closest to,
I'm worried people will think I'm a lesbo. I'm a liberal woman and have
no problem with another woman joining us in the sack, but I am a
straight woman. I'm not sure whether to say yes or no.

Re: Fanny's getting Married

<f609f33f-bd7e-407c-b154-b8874ac990c1n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: OllieNor...@aol.com (OllieNorthie@aol.com)
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 by: OllieNorthie@aol.com - Wed, 20 Oct 2021 22:53 UTC

On Wednesday, October 20, 2021 at 2:46:49 PM UTC-4, Judith Latham wrote:
> What a surprise this turned out to be. None of us in the family had ever
> seen Fanny with someone; not ever. We knew she went out sometimes and
> didn't come home for an evening, but knowing Fanny's reputation, we
> figured she was locked up for assaulting someone. This Sunday at our
> family dinner (yes, Jews do have Sunday family dinners), Fanny announced
> that she is gay and had met a woman she was going to marry. The woman's
> name is Ethel and truth be told, she's a beautiful young lady, albeit
> with a huge Jewish nose. What surprised us most was Fanny's announcement
> that she's gay. We always knew she was much more masculine than
> feminine, what with her muscles, tattoos and crew cut (a lean, mean 300
> lbs) but I never took her for a clam digger. Anyways, she has asked me
> to be her best man. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or flabbergasted.
> While I'm honored to be considered as the person she feels closest to,
> I'm worried people will think I'm a lesbo. I'm a liberal woman and have
> no problem with another woman joining us in the sack, but I am a
> straight woman. I'm not sure whether to say yes or no.

You are probably a lesbo. Thats ok. Even fags are ok as long as they stay in that fag closet.

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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From: jud...@sick-of-bullshit.invalid (Judith Latham)
Newsgroups: alt.life.sucks
Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2021 22:43:25 -0400
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 by: Judith Latham - Fri, 22 Oct 2021 02:43 UTC

On 10/20/2021 6:53 PM, OllieNorthie@aol.com wrote:
> On Wednesday, October 20, 2021 at 2:46:49 PM UTC-4, Judith Latham wrote:
>> What a surprise this turned out to be. None of us in the family had ever
>> seen Fanny with someone; not ever. We knew she went out sometimes and
>> didn't come home for an evening, but knowing Fanny's reputation, we
>> figured she was locked up for assaulting someone. This Sunday at our
>> family dinner (yes, Jews do have Sunday family dinners), Fanny announced
>> that she is gay and had met a woman she was going to marry. The woman's
>> name is Ethel and truth be told, she's a beautiful young lady, albeit
>> with a huge Jewish nose. What surprised us most was Fanny's announcement
>> that she's gay. We always knew she was much more masculine than
>> feminine, what with her muscles, tattoos and crew cut (a lean, mean 300
>> lbs) but I never took her for a clam digger. Anyways, she has asked me
>> to be her best man. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or flabbergasted.
>> While I'm honored to be considered as the person she feels closest to,
>> I'm worried people will think I'm a lesbo. I'm a liberal woman and have
>> no problem with another woman joining us in the sack, but I am a
>> straight woman. I'm not sure whether to say yes or no.
>
> You are probably a lesbo. Thats ok. Even fags are ok as long as they stay in that fag closet.
>

Fanny is not the only gay sibling. I told you about the twins, Ebbie and
Debbie, the babies of the family. Each is gay and it's gets strange from
there. On their 25th birthday, they announced that they each were opting
for sex change and that when the change is complete, they wish to swap
names. Needless to say, this is causing the family quite an
embarrassment. As far as myself and all my other siblings, we are 100%
heterosexual. Homosexuality is frowned upon in the Orthodox community,
although there is a lot of closet cases.

Re: Fanny's getting Married

<a76f453d-cee3-4668-8925-27485b742710n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: bosoden...@gmail.com (bosodeniro@gmail.com)
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 by: bosodeniro@gmail.com - Sat, 23 Oct 2021 02:28 UTC

On Thursday, October 21, 2021 at 7:43:32 PM UTC-7, Judith Latham wrote:
> On 10/20/2021 6:53 PM, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:
> > On Wednesday, October 20, 2021 at 2:46:49 PM UTC-4, Judith Latham wrote:
> >> What a surprise this turned out to be. None of us in the family had ever
> >> seen Fanny with someone; not ever. We knew she went out sometimes and
> >> didn't come home for an evening, but knowing Fanny's reputation, we
> >> figured she was locked up for assaulting someone. This Sunday at our
> >> family dinner (yes, Jews do have Sunday family dinners), Fanny announced
> >> that she is gay and had met a woman she was going to marry. The woman's
> >> name is Ethel and truth be told, she's a beautiful young lady, albeit
> >> with a huge Jewish nose. What surprised us most was Fanny's announcement
> >> that she's gay. We always knew she was much more masculine than
> >> feminine, what with her muscles, tattoos and crew cut (a lean, mean 300
> >> lbs) but I never took her for a clam digger. Anyways, she has asked me
> >> to be her best man. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or flabbergasted.
> >> While I'm honored to be considered as the person she feels closest to,
> >> I'm worried people will think I'm a lesbo. I'm a liberal woman and have
> >> no problem with another woman joining us in the sack, but I am a
> >> straight woman. I'm not sure whether to say yes or no.
> >
> > You are probably a lesbo. Thats ok. Even fags are ok as long as they stay in that fag closet.
> >
> Fanny is not the only gay sibling. I told you about the twins, Ebbie and
> Debbie, the babies of the family. Each is gay and it's gets strange from
> there. On their 25th birthday, they announced that they each were opting
> for sex change and that when the change is complete, they wish to swap
> names. Needless to say, this is causing the family quite an
> embarrassment. As far as myself and all my other siblings, we are 100%
> heterosexual. Homosexuality is frowned upon in the Orthodox community,
> although there is a lot of closet cases.

I got a "Fanny" in my family too. But we were all straight and heterosexual including all the fagalas too?

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Sat, 23 Oct 2021 07:36 UTC

> Fanny is not the only gay sibling. I told you about the twins, Ebbie and
> Debbie, the babies of the family. Each is gay and it's gets strange from
> there. On their 25th birthday, they announced that they each were opting
> for sex change and that when the change is complete, they wish to swap
> names. Needless to say, this is causing the family quite an
> embarrassment. As far as myself and all my other siblings, we are 100%
> heterosexual. Homosexuality is frowned upon in the Orthodox community,
> although there is a lot of closet cases.

There are a lot of closet cases in the Orthodox community because the Orthodox community is a closet from which you and your never-ending obsession with all things Jewish will never escape because you don't want to. Homosexual activity is frowned upon in most communities. It seems most Jews think certain behaviors are exclusive to their people. Everyone deals with other people trying to make them feel guilty and doing other stuff you seem to think is exclusive to Jews alone. Just write the stories and leave the Jew thing out of it unless it's absolutely necessary. Forcing the Jew thing on other people all the time is frowned upon in my community.

You make me frown
When you throw the Jewish thing around

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Sat, 23 Oct 2021 07:42 UTC

Judith Latham wrote:
Ollie wrote:

> While I'm honored to be considered as the person she feels closest to,
> I'm worried people will think I'm a lesbo. I'm a liberal woman and have
> no problem with another woman joining us in the sack, but I am a
> straight woman. I'm not sure whether to say yes or no.

> You are probably a lesbo. That's ok. Even fags are ok as long as they stay in that fag closet.

LOL. You should have an advice column. One of your favorite words to use would be "probably" in order to cover all bases so that no matter what you say, if it's proved false somewhere down the road, you can always point back and say, "Whoa, I never said it was the final verdict, I said 'probably'." Some words give the writer a lot of leeway. I like that. Words that can be stretched a long way in many different directions. "Probably" is one of them. It's poetic license man. We are poets and we are special.

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: bosoden...@gmail.com (bosodeniro@gmail.com)
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 by: bosodeniro@gmail.com - Sat, 23 Oct 2021 21:14 UTC

On Saturday, October 23, 2021 at 12:36:10 AM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Fanny is not the only gay sibling. I told you about the twins, Ebbie and
> > Debbie, the babies of the family. Each is gay and it's gets strange from
> > there. On their 25th birthday, they announced that they each were opting
> > for sex change and that when the change is complete, they wish to swap
> > names. Needless to say, this is causing the family quite an
> > embarrassment. As far as myself and all my other siblings, we are 100%
> > heterosexual. Homosexuality is frowned upon in the Orthodox community,
> > although there is a lot of closet cases.
> There are a lot of closet cases in the Orthodox community because the Orthodox community is a closet from which you and your never-ending obsession with all things Jewish will never escape because you don't want to. Homosexual activity is frowned upon in most communities. It seems most Jews think certain behaviors are exclusive to their people. Everyone deals with other people trying to make them feel guilty and doing other stuff you seem to think is exclusive to Jews alone. Just write the stories and leave the Jew thing out of it unless it's absolutely necessary. Forcing the Jew thing on other people all the time is frowned upon in my community.
>
> You make me frown
> When you throw the Jewish thing around

Your problem is you don't have a Jew thing, that's your problem. Seriously, you don't have any identity other than vanilla. You think it's egalitarian but you're just Chinese in China. Under those conditions, I think it's pretty hard to prevail as opinionated as you are — seriously you'd be better off as a Jew.

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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From: jud...@sick-of-bullshit.invalid (Judith Latham)
Newsgroups: alt.life.sucks
Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2021 00:14:31 -0400
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 by: Judith Latham - Sun, 24 Oct 2021 04:14 UTC

On 10/23/2021 5:14 PM, bosodeniro@gmail.com wrote:
> On Saturday, October 23, 2021 at 12:36:10 AM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
>>> Fanny is not the only gay sibling. I told you about the twins, Ebbie and
>>> Debbie, the babies of the family. Each is gay and it's gets strange from
>>> there. On their 25th birthday, they announced that they each were opting
>>> for sex change and that when the change is complete, they wish to swap
>>> names. Needless to say, this is causing the family quite an
>>> embarrassment. As far as myself and all my other siblings, we are 100%
>>> heterosexual. Homosexuality is frowned upon in the Orthodox community,
>>> although there is a lot of closet cases.
>> There are a lot of closet cases in the Orthodox community because the Orthodox community is a closet from which you and your never-ending obsession with all things Jewish will never escape because you don't want to. Homosexual activity is frowned upon in most communities. It seems most Jews think certain behaviors are exclusive to their people. Everyone deals with other people trying to make them feel guilty and doing other stuff you seem to think is exclusive to Jews alone. Just write the stories and leave the Jew thing out of it unless it's absolutely necessary. Forcing the Jew thing on other people all the time is frowned upon in my community.
>>
>> You make me frown
>> When you throw the Jewish thing around
>
> Your problem is you don't have a Jew thing, that's your problem. Seriously, you don't have any identity other than vanilla. You think it's egalitarian but you're just Chinese in China. Under those conditions, I think it's pretty hard to prevail as opinionated as you are — seriously you'd be better off as a Jew.
>

He can be the first male yenta.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Sun, 24 Oct 2021 04:34 UTC

bosodejewo@gmail.com wrote:

> Your problem is you don't have a Jew thing, that's your problem. Seriously, you don't have any identity other than vanilla. You think it's egalitarian but you're just Chinese in China. Under those conditions, I think it's pretty hard to prevail as opinionated as you are — seriously you'd be better off as a Jew.

My problem is you. Just kidding, I have no problem. A few physical ailments, getting older, gonna die soon, but other than that I have no problem. I am content. That bothers you, doesn't it Bozo? Vanilla? That means bland, right? So what. It's not like I'm trying to outrage anyone. I never have. I told you before and I don't care if you believe me or not, although of course I'd always prefer that people believe me, especially when I'm telling the truth, which is pretty much all the time - that when I say things that might sound outrageous I'm not saying them to get reactions of shock and awe. I use the WTC Towers as an example. When we were in the comedy group I told those people that watching the towers go down on TV over and over again was entertainment, even for those who claim otherwise. I was aware as the words poured out that they might get responses of outrage. I was delighted by that because it came naturally as I genuinely did believe and still do that anything watched over and over again on TV, no matter how gruesome, is entertainment to those watching it. I don't mind being vanilla.. I respond to your posts but don't critique them the way you do mine. On the one hand you want to present me as the image of conformity and blandness, also as a typist rather than a writer (which I never said I was, although for me anybody who writes anything even if it sucks is a writer. But I am not trying to be a writer. I'm just letting loose. I enjoy it. For me this newsgroup is a no cost psychiatrist.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Sun, 24 Oct 2021 04:40 UTC

Judith Latham wrote:
bosod...@gmail.com wrote:

> > Your problem is you don't have a Jew thing, that's your problem. Seriously, you don't have any identity other than vanilla. You think it's egalitarian but you're just Chinese in China. Under those conditions, I think it's pretty hard to prevail as opinionated as you are — seriously you'd be better off as a Jew.

> He can be the first male yenta.

There she goes - again. There they both go - again. The Clown Brigade. They can't let it go. It's all they've got. It's their ace in the hole. A deep hole. One they dug themselves. But at least they talk to me, and I'm grateful for that, even if it's only out of intense loneliness on their part. But Bozo is going to have to change his tone. I told him before that I do not mind being criticized and even welcome it. But I want it to be real. Based on truth. The real truth.

This post was based on a true story that hasn't happened yet.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: bosoden...@gmail.com (bosodeniro@gmail.com)
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 by: bosodeniro@gmail.com - Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:32 UTC

On Saturday, October 23, 2021 at 9:34:45 PM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> bosod...@gmail.com wrote:
>
> > Your problem is you don't have a Jew thing, that's your problem. Seriously, you don't have any identity other than vanilla. You think it's egalitarian but you're just Chinese in China. Under those conditions, I think it's pretty hard to prevail as opinionated as you are — seriously you'd be better off as a Jew.
> My problem is you. Just kidding, I have no problem. A few physical ailments, getting older, gonna die soon, but other than that I have no problem. I am content. That bothers you, doesn't it Bozo? Vanilla? That means bland, right? So what. It's not like I'm trying to outrage anyone. I never have. I told you before and I don't care if you believe me or not, although of course I'd always prefer that people believe me, especially when I'm telling the truth, which is pretty much all the time - that when I say things that might sound outrageous I'm not saying them to get reactions of shock and awe.. I use the WTC Towers as an example. When we were in the comedy group I told those people that watching the towers go down on TV over and over again was entertainment, even for those who claim otherwise. I was aware as the words poured out that they might get responses of outrage. I was delighted by that because it came naturally as I genuinely did believe and still do that anything watched over and over again on TV, no matter how gruesome, is entertainment to those watching it. I don't mind being vanilla. I respond to your posts but don't critique them the way you do mine. On the one hand you want to present me as the image of conformity and blandness, also as a typist rather than a writer (which I never said I was, although for me anybody who writes anything even if it sucks is a writer. But I am not trying to be a writer. I'm just letting loose. I enjoy it. For me this newsgroup is a no cost psychiatrist.

Oh you do have a problem. You just don't know it or want to know it. And it goes beyond just opinionated too. You're deaf, dumb, and tone-deaf. I'm afraid you're just a little bit stupid. Its like you love to watch the stuff you hate. For example, there's lots of stuff on TV & RADIO & Internet I hate like K-POP for example and if I hear it I immediately shut it off. You're getting to me like that yourself. No redeeming quality not even your kinky style. Sorry loser. Click.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Mon, 25 Oct 2021 23:55 UTC

> Oh you do have a problem. You just don't know it or want to know it. And it goes beyond just opinionated too. You're deaf, dumb, and tone-deaf. I'm afraid you're just a little bit stupid. Its like you love to watch the stuff you hate. For example, there's lots of stuff on TV & RADIO & Internet I hate like K-POP for example and if I hear it I immediately shut it off. You're getting to me like that yourself. No redeeming quality not even your kinky style. Sorry loser. Click.

I do not watch stuff I hate. I mean stuff I really hate. I might stuff that sickens me, just to prove I was right when I was sickened the first time. But I don't seek out stuff I hate. I should say dislike because I truthfully hate nothing. Well, except for maybe you now that you have decided to make yourself a full-time thorn in my side with the same old unfunny thoughts and knowingly false comments. I said before Bozo, I welcome the truth. I want to be put down. Belittled. Let me have it good. But you're not generous enough to do it for real. All you can do is make up mean stuff about me to try to piss me off. I don't want to be pissed off, I want to learn. List my flaws and let me have it full in the face, I'm ready for it - but make it real. I'm sick of your fake anger.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: bosoden...@gmail.com (bosodeniro@gmail.com)
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 by: bosodeniro@gmail.com - Tue, 26 Oct 2021 06:29 UTC

On Monday, October 25, 2021 at 4:55:34 PM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Oh you do have a problem. You just don't know it or want to know it. And it goes beyond just opinionated too. You're deaf, dumb, and tone-deaf. I'm afraid you're just a little bit stupid. Its like you love to watch the stuff you hate. For example, there's lots of stuff on TV & RADIO & Internet I hate like K-POP for example and if I hear it I immediately shut it off. You're getting to me like that yourself. No redeeming quality not even your kinky style. Sorry loser. Click.
> I do not watch stuff I hate. I mean stuff I really hate. I might stuff that sickens me, just to prove I was right when I was sickened the first time.. But I don't seek out stuff I hate. I should say dislike because I truthfully hate nothing. Well, except for maybe you now that you have decided to make yourself a full-time thorn in my side with the same old unfunny thoughts and knowingly false comments. I said before Bozo, I welcome the truth. I want to be put down. Belittled. Let me have it good. But you're not generous enough to do it for real. All you can do is make up mean stuff about me to try to piss me off. I don't want to be pissed off, I want to learn. List my flaws and let me have it full in the face, I'm ready for it - but make it real. I'm sick of your fake anger.

Now you're trying too hard to kill me with tolerance and kindness. Fuck you, and I don't believe you either. If you really like me and want to show it, prove it and kill ollie for me.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Tue, 26 Oct 2021 23:06 UTC

> Now you're trying too hard to kill me with tolerance and kindness. Fuck you, and I don't believe you either. If you really like me and want to show it, prove it and kill ollie for me.

I would never kill any person just to make another person happy. I would only kill one person if their death makes another person sad. I would not kill Ollie for you. At the same time I would never kill you for Ollie or anyone else, I would do it only for my own pleasure. That's the kind of person I am Bozo. I don't pit one person against another as from the very start my motto has been "Me against the world" in a non-hateful playfully competitive semi affectionate style of ongoing newsgroup conflict.

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: OllieNor...@aol.com (OllieNorthie@aol.com)
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 by: OllieNorthie@aol.com - Wed, 27 Oct 2021 19:32 UTC

On Tuesday, October 26, 2021 at 7:06:49 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Now you're trying too hard to kill me with tolerance and kindness. Fuck you, and I don't believe you either. If you really like me and want to show it, prove it and kill ollie for me.
> I would never kill any person just to make another person happy. I would only kill one person if their death makes another person sad. I would not kill Ollie for you. At the same time I would never kill you for Ollie or anyone else, I would do it only for my own pleasure. That's the kind of person I am Bozo. I don't pit one person against another as from the very start my motto has been "Me against the world" in a non-hateful playfully competitive semi affectionate style of ongoing newsgroup conflict.

I half expect to be killed by someone who knows me well. The other half expects it from a stranger.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Thu, 28 Oct 2021 00:00 UTC

> I half expect to be killed by someone who knows me well. The other half expects it from a stranger.

Take that to a police psychiatrist. But first you have to go through the police themselves.

"They're after me. They're going to kill me."

"Who are 'they'?", says the cop in charge.

"Well, there's a bunch of them really", you continue as the cop looks at his partner across the room and shoots him a look like "What kind of nut case have we got this time?"

"A bunch of them", says the cop. "You mean a gang?"

"No no, not a gang", you bellow, getting angrier by the moment at the lack of understanding and compassion. "It's like, you know - it's like when you think it's somebody who knows you really well but you also think it could be a total stranger. Know what I mean?"

"Uh, yeah", says the cop. "Go on."

"Well, that's it", you say. "I've already given you two good clues. Can't you at least get an investigation started? It's simple really. It's either someone who knows me real well or it's a total stranger. Please alert all your men to these facts. In the meantime I am going to need round the clock protection. But then. But then", he babbles, head down, groping for the next word - "but then................"

"Yes yes", says the cop, "go ahead - "but then..............."

"But then how do I know the killer couldn't be one of the cops you send out to protect me? You look like someone I can trust. I can always tell an honest face. Can you do it? Can you be the one to protect me?"

The cops explains that he would love to help in that way but simply does not have the time.

"Well then find the time", screams the nut case, pulling out a gun and pointing it at the cop. "Protect me now or I'll blow your fucking head off."

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: bosoden...@gmail.com (bosodeniro@gmail.com)
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 by: bosodeniro@gmail.com - Thu, 28 Oct 2021 00:53 UTC

On Wednesday, October 27, 2021 at 5:00:55 PM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > I half expect to be killed by someone who knows me well. The other half expects it from a stranger.
> Take that to a police psychiatrist. But first you have to go through the police themselves.
>
> "They're after me. They're going to kill me."
>
> "Who are 'they'?", says the cop in charge.
>
> "Well, there's a bunch of them really", you continue as the cop looks at his partner across the room and shoots him a look like "What kind of nut case have we got this time?"
>
> "A bunch of them", says the cop. "You mean a gang?"
>
> "No no, not a gang", you bellow, getting angrier by the moment at the lack of understanding and compassion. "It's like, you know - it's like when you think it's somebody who knows you really well but you also think it could be a total stranger. Know what I mean?"
>
> "Uh, yeah", says the cop. "Go on."
>
> "Well, that's it", you say. "I've already given you two good clues. Can't you at least get an investigation started? It's simple really. It's either someone who knows me real well or it's a total stranger. Please alert all your men to these facts. In the meantime I am going to need round the clock protection. But then. But then", he babbles, head down, groping for the next word - "but then................"
>
> "Yes yes", says the cop, "go ahead - "but then..............."
>
> "But then how do I know the killer couldn't be one of the cops you send out to protect me? You look like someone I can trust. I can always tell an honest face. Can you do it? Can you be the one to protect me?"
>
> The cops explains that he would love to help in that way but simply does not have the time.
>
> "Well then find the time", screams the nut case, pulling out a gun and pointing it at the cop. "Protect me now or I'll blow your fucking head off."

Kill ollie damn it or I'm gonna have ollie kill you.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Thu, 28 Oct 2021 01:31 UTC

> Kill ollie damn it or I'm gonna have ollie kill you.

How about if we kill each other and it's just you and Latham from now on, would you like that? I don't think so. I see you groveling in loneliness and despair, crying for out return, searching one newsgroup after another to find two people even remotely like us. If you ask me one more time to kill Ollie I am afraid I am going to have to kill you. Or Judith. I might kill her first just to show you that I mean business.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2021 22:46:42 -0400
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 by: Judith Latham - Thu, 28 Oct 2021 02:46 UTC

On 10/27/2021 9:31 PM, Thomas Joseph wrote:
>
>> Kill ollie damn it or I'm gonna have ollie kill you.
>
> How about if we kill each other and it's just you and Latham from now on, would you like that? I don't think so. I see you groveling in loneliness and despair, crying for out return, searching one newsgroup after another to find two people even remotely like us. If you ask me one more time to kill Ollie I am afraid I am going to have to kill you. Or Judith. I might kill her first just to show you that I mean business.
>

Why kill me? I try my best to be friendly with everybody. In the words
of the famous civil rights icon, Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Thu, 28 Oct 2021 21:44 UTC

> Why kill me? I try my best to be friendly with everybody. In the words
> of the famous civil rights icon, Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

At least you're asking why instead of reacting with violence of your own. I like inquisitive people. Why you? I'll tell you why. First I was only joking. But second, all jokes aside, around here we see killing someone as the friendliest thing a person can do, especially if the someone killed is a friend to begin with. It's like different customs in different countries. In some places things you do here to convey respect could be taken as an insult. For instance, in some spots of Thailand it is considered vile and even worthy of retaliation to applaud by clapping. It is verboten. For most people around the world, killing a friend is inconceivable - but for us it is a badge of honor for both the killer and the killee.

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From: jud...@sick-of-bullshit.invalid (Judith Latham)
Newsgroups: alt.life.sucks
Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2021 22:46:08 -0400
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 by: Judith Latham - Fri, 29 Oct 2021 02:46 UTC

On 10/28/2021 5:44 PM, Thomas Joseph wrote:
>
>> Why kill me? I try my best to be friendly with everybody. In the words
>> of the famous civil rights icon, Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"
>
> At least you're asking why instead of reacting with violence of your own. I like inquisitive people. Why you? I'll tell you why. First I was only joking. But second, all jokes aside, around here we see killing someone as the friendliest thing a person can do, especially if the someone killed is a friend to begin with. It's like different customs in different countries. In some places things you do here to convey respect could be taken as an insult. For instance, in some spots of Thailand it is considered vile and even worthy of retaliation to applaud by clapping. It is verboten. For most people around the world, killing a friend is inconceivable - but for us it is a badge of honor for both the killer and the killee.
>

That last sentence belongs in Bartlett's. I feel terrible now to
discover that once again, I am in a place that I don't belong. I admit
that I can be a nasty,vindictive bitch when I feel I've been wronged
but I would never kill a friend. It's part of my Jewish DNA. Those Thais
are rather primitive but they do make a great marijuana

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Sun, 31 Oct 2021 19:42 UTC

> That last sentence belongs in Bartlett's. I feel terrible now to
> discover that once again, I am in a place that I don't belong. I admit
> that I can be a nasty,vindictive bitch when I feel I've been wronged
> but I would never kill a friend. It's part of my Jewish DNA. Those Thais
> are rather primitive but they do make a great marijuana

Everybody is primitive, including you. Especially you. This is my new theory, my new way of seeing life. Not just with you but with myself as well - all of us. I want to be first in line to accept all negative titles bestowed on my fellow man. Until we are able to see ourselves as primitive we will never move beyond it.

I'm not sure I believe that either but it sounds cool so I'm rolling with it

Re: Fanny's getting Married

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: OllieNor...@aol.com (OllieNorthie@aol.com)
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 by: OllieNorthie@aol.com - Sun, 31 Oct 2021 20:50 UTC

On Sunday, October 31, 2021 at 3:42:45 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > That last sentence belongs in Bartlett's. I feel terrible now to
> > discover that once again, I am in a place that I don't belong. I admit
> > that I can be a nasty,vindictive bitch when I feel I've been wronged
> > but I would never kill a friend. It's part of my Jewish DNA. Those Thais
> > are rather primitive but they do make a great marijuana
> Everybody is primitive, including you. Especially you. This is my new theory, my new way of seeing life. Not just with you but with myself as well - all of us. I want to be first in line to accept all negative titles bestowed on my fellow man. Until we are able to see ourselves as primitive we will never move beyond it.
>
> I'm not sure I believe that either but it sounds cool so I'm rolling with it

The primitive are best equipped for survival. But they are being wiped out by the non primitives technology. The idividual non primetive is unable to do it but as a collective of morons they are powerful.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: jazeev1...@gmail.com (Thomas Joseph)
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 by: Thomas Joseph - Sun, 31 Oct 2021 23:15 UTC

> > I'm not sure I believe that either but it sounds cool so I'm rolling with it
> The primitive are best equipped for survival. But they are being wiped out by the non primitives technology. The idividual non primetive is unable to do it but as a collective of morons they are powerful.

Collective of morons - lol. I am sure the collective level of moronism is the same between the primitive tribes and the new-age ones. Oh shit, I just re-read your post and see that I misread it. I thought you said the individual primitives were not powerful enough as individuals to overtake the techies. Yes, the individual non primitive is more primitive than any actual primitive from the past or even today. But as a group they are a tsunami of stupidity that can't be stopped. Now for me personally the dilemma is to find out who's side I'm on, now before the action really heats up.

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Subject: Re: Fanny's getting Married
From: OllieNor...@aol.com (OllieNorthie@aol.com)
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 by: OllieNorthie@aol.com - Fri, 5 Nov 2021 00:22 UTC

On Sunday, October 31, 2021 at 7:15:49 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > I'm not sure I believe that either but it sounds cool so I'm rolling with it
> > The primitive are best equipped for survival. But they are being wiped out by the non primitives technology. The idividual non primetive is unable to do it but as a collective of morons they are powerful.
> Collective of morons - lol. I am sure the collective level of moronism is the same between the primitive tribes and the new-age ones. Oh shit, I just re-read your post and see that I misread it. I thought you said the individual primitives were not powerful enough as individuals to overtake the techies. Yes, the individual non primitive is more primitive than any actual primitive from the past or even today. But as a group they are a tsunami of stupidity that can't be stopped. Now for me personally the dilemma is to find out who's side I'm on, now before the action really heats up.

The action will not heat up but it will boil over. It is in the new metaphors for the future dictionary.


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