> Right now I am in the nigger rich success mode. I got my guv check coming in, savings from my military industrial complex job, and a house paid for. I am rolling today. Tomorrow I may be broke and homeless but for today I got it made.

I have it made on the lowest level and that's good enough for me. Unfortunately for the first time in my life I genuinely believe I will not live out the year. I better enjoy it while it lasts. But how? What do I enjoy doing? Nothing really. Lots of sitting around, waiting - patiently - and I am content with it. I am content with the wither. What I don't like is having to exercise and practicing other healthy habits in the midst of it. Maybe I like more stuff than I admit but am afraid to get into it, afraid to enjoy life to its max knowing it means I will have more to lose when I die.

On Friday, May 7, 2021 at 3:13:21 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Right now I am in the nigger rich success mode. I got my guv check coming in, savings from my military industrial complex job, and a house paid for. I am rolling today. Tomorrow I may be broke and homeless but for today I got it made.
> I have it made on the lowest level and that's good enough for me. Unfortunately for the first time in my life I genuinely believe I will not live out the year. I better enjoy it while it lasts. But how? What do I enjoy doing? Nothing really. Lots of sitting around, waiting - patiently - and I am content with it. I am content with the wither. What I don't like is having to exercise and practicing other healthy habits in the midst of it. Maybe I like more stuff than I admit but am afraid to get into it, afraid to enjoy life to its max knowing it means I will have more to lose when I die.

You need a goal. Something to look forward to. It can be anything. Just pick something. Let me know when you have a goal. In fact picking a goal is the goal.

> You need a goal. Something to look forward to. It can be anything. Just pick something. Let me know when you have a goal. In fact picking a goal is the goal.

In case you're wondering I just spent 3 days in bed. At the doctors the other day I asked him if he had anything for restless leg syndrome. He wrote me a script. I read the enclosed sheet with all the side effects. The drug is for parkinson's disease, which I do not have. But it works for RLS - or so they say. I liked the sound of some of the sound effects and cautions: "Don't take with alcohol." That's always a good sign. "Do not operate machinery." Got it. It said the pill will not make you feel drowsy in a big way but it could put you to sleep in a sudden way, like just sitting in a chair talking to people or whatever. But most of the side effects are for people taking this stuff routinely - like multiple times a day at higher doses than what I have. So I ignored all the way out stuff. I figured I'd take it at bed time, not wait to see if the RLS kicks in - just take it to see what it feels like. I didn't feel anything. But it must have done something because I felt oddly tired for 2 plus days. I say oddly because I am almost always tired one way or another but not necessarily odd. This was an odd feeling. I will not take them again. I was swinging for a side effect from one of the side effects. Funny. Lots of drugs today are actually side effects from other drugs labeled differently. Like the Gabapentin I took to make me stop itching - it's an epilepsy drug and I don't have epilepsy. I took that drug for it's side effect. Another side effect is that it makes you drowsy. When I have them I will sometimes use them as a sleeping pill. But I do not want ever to get in the habit of taking anything that must become or even overtake my body in order to work. I am in control of my life - which is nothing.

On Sunday, May 9, 2021 at 6:23:08 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > You need a goal. Something to look forward to. It can be anything. Just pick something. Let me know when you have a goal. In fact picking a goal is the goal.
> In case you're wondering I just spent 3 days in bed. At the doctors the other day I asked him if he had anything for restless leg syndrome. He wrote me a script. I read the enclosed sheet with all the side effects. The drug is for parkinson's disease, which I do not have. But it works for RLS - or so they say. I liked the sound of some of the sound effects and cautions: "Don't take with alcohol." That's always a good sign. "Do not operate machinery." Got it. It said the pill will not make you feel drowsy in a big way but it could put you to sleep in a sudden way, like just sitting in a chair talking to people or whatever. But most of the side effects are for people taking this stuff routinely - like multiple times a day at higher doses than what I have. So I ignored all the way out stuff. I figured I'd take it at bed time, not wait to see if the RLS kicks in - just take it to see what it feels like. I didn't feel anything. But it must have done something because I felt oddly tired for 2 plus days. I say oddly because I am almost always tired one way or another but not necessarily odd. This was an odd feeling. I will not take them again. I was swinging for a side effect from one of the side effects. Funny. Lots of drugs today are actually side effects from other drugs labeled differently. Like the Gabapentin I took to make me stop itching - it's an epilepsy drug and I don't have epilepsy. I took that drug for it's side effect. Another side effect is that it makes you drowsy. When I have them I will sometimes use them as a sleeping pill. But I do not want ever to get in the habit of taking anything that must become or even overtake my body in order to work. I am in control of my life - which is nothing.

It is like viagra but makes the entire body a stiffy.

> It is like viagra but makes the entire body a stiffy.

Everything in life has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Yes, it turns the entire body into stiffy. But it doesn't last forever. Nothing does. After the body becomes stiff as a board some parts must relax or the body will go into complete meltdown. Often, usually after weeks of intense full body erection pleasure, parts of the body begin to soften. Sometimes it starts with the penis itself - for days during the transformation process the only soft part of an otherwise stressed out board-stiff body yearning to join its cock in soft and silent serenity.

On Monday, May 10, 2021 at 5:22:27 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > It is like viagra but makes the entire body a stiffy.
> Everything in life has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Yes, it turns the entire body into stiffy. But it doesn't last forever. Nothing does. After the body becomes stiff as a board some parts must relax or the body will go into complete meltdown. Often, usually after weeks of intense full body erection pleasure, parts of the body begin to soften. Sometimes it starts with the penis itself - for days during the transformation process the only soft part of an otherwise stressed out board-stiff body yearning to join its cock in soft and silent serenity.

Nature is funny. How the dick gets stiff so it can be used for fucking. Wonder what kind of thinking went into that?

> Nature is funny. How the dick gets stiff so it can be used for fucking. Wonder what kind of thinking went into that?

I know the answer. Just because I can't explain it doesn't mean I don't know it - so please don't ever accuse me of not knowing it. It has to do with need. It is need. Nothing more. We are all born of hunger. Oh yes I have thought of all this shit before - and I'm sick of thinking about it, although I can't stop and it is fun sometimes - how hard it would be to procreate if it were not for sex, in particular the needful harden and the bitch receiving the seeds of its still relevant man juice. If sex didn't feel good how many people would do what is necessary to have kids? I'd say not many. So right from the start you can see it's either some kind of practical joke that can never change because the person who created it is dead, or it's further proof that we are indeed born of hunger and need and it just goes on forever and ever, forget your amens.

On Tuesday, May 11, 2021 at 5:40:42 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Nature is funny. How the dick gets stiff so it can be used for fucking. Wonder what kind of thinking went into that?
> I know the answer. Just because I can't explain it doesn't mean I don't know it - so please don't ever accuse me of not knowing it. It has to do with need. It is need. Nothing more. We are all born of hunger. Oh yes I have thought of all this shit before - and I'm sick of thinking about it, although I can't stop and it is fun sometimes - how hard it would be to procreate if it were not for sex, in particular the needful harden and the bitch receiving the seeds of its still relevant man juice. If sex didn't feel good how many people would do what is necessary to have kids? I'd say not many. So right from the start you can see it's either some kind of practical joke that can never change because the person who created it is dead, or it's further proof that we are indeed born of hunger and need and it just goes on forever and ever, forget your amens.

Oh it is a trap. A feel good one. What if women could only get pregnant by eating a mans shit? Would they do it?

> Oh it is a trap. A feel good one. What if women could only get pregnant by eating a mans shit? Would they do it?

Women are a breed apart and I can't honestly say how far they'd go to have that kid, especially without any input from a guy. What would happen then? I know we have sperm banks and some women don't know for sure who fathered their child. But what if none of them knew the father? In time they would bask in the power of it all - how they can put new life on earth without any input from men. That is when men will have to put their foot down and start killing the babies as soon as they begin to emerge.

On Wednesday, May 12, 2021 at 4:07:31 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Oh it is a trap. A feel good one. What if women could only get pregnant by eating a mans shit? Would they do it?
> Women are a breed apart and I can't honestly say how far they'd go to have that kid, especially without any input from a guy. What would happen then? I know we have sperm banks and some women don't know for sure who fathered their child. But what if none of them knew the father? In time they would bask in the power of it all - how they can put new life on earth without any input from men. That is when men will have to put their foot down and start killing the babies as soon as they begin to emerge.

They need to be born full grown with a job.

> They need to be born full grown with a job.

With men powerless and perhaps even no longer existing women will run the show all the way. There will be no jobs other than services their most immediate base needs which include getting sucked and fucked at their whim night and day by an army of men so worn out from mandatory sex gigs that they would do anything for the right to dig a ditch or carry a ball and chain.

On Wednesday, May 12, 2021 at 10:13:09 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > They need to be born full grown with a job.
> With men powerless and perhaps even no longer existing women will run the show all the way. There will be no jobs other than services their most immediate base needs which include getting sucked and fucked at their whim night and day by an army of men so worn out from mandatory sex gigs that they would do anything for the right to dig a ditch or carry a ball and chain.

The country is grinding to a halt. More problems all the time. Well maybe not. I would like to blame women and blacks but I can't definitively say it is the cause. It has gone to shit before. And will again. Maybe no one is to blame because we all are. Man I am deep today.

> The country is grinding to a halt. More problems all the time. Well maybe not. I would like to blame women and blacks but I can't definitively say it is the cause. It has gone to shit before. And will again. Maybe no one is to blame because we all are. Man I am deep today.

It is deep. I know that in lots of places around the world including here in this town more people have it worse than I have it, even though I am living on the lowest officially available income. So no matter how good things get over there, it may not be so bad over here - or no matter how bad it gets over here it may not be so bad over there, wherever that is. But overall the world is probably in as good a place as we it's people are capable of putting it right now. Hey man, we're doing the best we can. We're all in this together even if we're not all equal. Things can always be worse. You don't think so? Well then come on big boy, push it - let's find out what happens. I'll make you wish you were never born!

Get down on your knees and give thanks

On Thursday, May 13, 2021 at 4:28:28 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > The country is grinding to a halt. More problems all the time. Well maybe not. I would like to blame women and blacks but I can't definitively say it is the cause. It has gone to shit before. And will again. Maybe no one is to blame because we all are. Man I am deep today.
> It is deep. I know that in lots of places around the world including here in this town more people have it worse than I have it, even though I am living on the lowest officially available income. So no matter how good things get over there, it may not be so bad over here - or no matter how bad it gets over here it may not be so bad over there, wherever that is. But overall the world is probably in as good a place as we it's people are capable of putting it right now. Hey man, we're doing the best we can. We're all in this together even if we're not all equal. Things can always be worse. You don't think so? Well then come on big boy, push it - let's find out what happens. I'll make you wish you were never born!
>
> Get down on your knees and give thanks

I am preparing for things to get worse. But I expect they wont. I am pessimistically optimistic.

> I am preparing for things to get worse. But I expect they wont. I am pessimistically optimistic.

Prep for the worst. But don't over prep or you be able to take advantage of things when they get better, which they surely will, you can bet our children will make it happen. I have faith - faith that one day soon everything will get better starting the very day after my death.

On Sunday, May 16, 2021 at 6:18:47 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > I am preparing for things to get worse. But I expect they wont. I am pessimistically optimistic.
> Prep for the worst. But don't over prep or you be able to take advantage of things when they get better, which they surely will, you can bet our children will make it happen. I have faith - faith that one day soon everything will get better starting the very day after my death.

Like the guy who died the day we nuked Japan ending the greatest generations good war.

> Like the guy who died the day we nuked Japan ending the greatest generations good war.

You talking a Jap or an American? Did an American die during the bomb drop? That would be a great sacrifice, the plane shattered to oblivion by a mushroom cloud rising with rage from ground zero to the clouds on high.

I am leaving 4 or 5 posts on the board for later. Gotta get to that market.. Got the dentist tomorrow. See, I get up when I have to - pay the rent, buy groceries, see the doctor, whatever. Other than that it is hard to get out of that bed, or at least out of this apartment. But I gotta go now. Am not looking forward to it. I was never in great condition, just good enough to get by. But I'm slipping. All this lying around, no walking, I can tell it's getting to me. So here I go. Maybe I'll get hit by a truck.

> The less I do the harder anything is to do. I will put making a todo list on a todo list if I ever get up to do it.

I'm with you on that. I'm up today. Just got back from the dentist. Hardly slept but am glad I'm up now. I make todo lists all the time. I am an index card guy. I get the large ones and fold them in half and put them in my pocket. I shop with a list. I'm fast with it. I know the stores, in and out real quick. But sometimes my todo list gets so overcrowded it scares me just to look at it and I can't even get todo #1 out of the way. Maybe that is the subconscious purpose of the list, to make it so overcrowded and intimidating that you will never have to do anything. I am not a one day at a time guy. I have given it a whirl but I fail most times I try. How about that expression - "He has a lot of stuff on his plate." I hate when people say that. Where I used to live the ceiling was falling apart near the windows from rain on the roof. They would not fix it. I met up with a repair guy in the building one day and told him about it. He was working on an apartment right across from mine. I asked him to come over so I could show him the ceiling. He agreed it was pretty bad. But he worked for the owner. So when I complained further about the guy never getting around to doing anything the repair guy said, "Well, Pete's got a lot on his plate right now." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Imagine not showing up in court on the appointed date then showing up later and telling the Judge, "I'm sorry Your Honor, but I've got a lot on my plate." I know what you mean - the vicious circle of doing nothing and having things become tougher when you finally decide to do them. Like now. I am facing a walk and not looking forward to it. Almost hoping it rains to give me an excuse. Anyway, I'm out of here now - saving a few posts for later. I am addicted to this newsgroup and YOU are my higher power.

> Fucking judges have no sense of their own worth. They act like they are doing a favor by making you pay a fine or go to jail. In fact I got a jury notice I need to deal with. I should just say I will go with what the Judge decides.

I am not Mr. Scofflaw - don't have the guts for it - but I learned early that in my social bracket it's best to just not reply. What are they going to do? You can say you never got the letter. How are they going to prove otherwise? Same with threats to pay taxes. Sure, if make more than a certain amount but are not privileged rich it's best to pay first thing. Otherwise I don't think they care. I am not Mr. Jailhouse but have been in the local hoosegow a few times and never bumped into anyone being held for tax evasion. Or avoiding jury duty.

"See that guy over there? Don't mess with him - he avoided jury duty."

Adding two of your posts here because I could get the 'over the limit' message from Google at any time. Then I will read this post and respond with a flourish.

> Lazy is helping to save the planet. I care.

> I am tired of hearing you talk about being tired.

I know what you mean, I'm tired of talking about it too. And I believe you are serious and I don't mind that you are because I am tired of it myself and would be even more tired of it if I were someone else.

Yes, being lazy is a contribution of sorts, like getting paid to not grow wheat. The world needs lazy people. At the same time I suppose we also need the over achievers. Maybe. I don't know. And furthermore I don't care because I'm too lazy to think about it.

//////////////////////////////

> Times have changed. Lots of people in jail for not showing up for JD. JD is for Jury Duty. Those of us who have done it before call it JD. We are the bad ass jurors no one wants to fuck with. The 12 angry men kind.

Every time I see JD I think of Tippet. He thought he was a one man jury that day he chased Lee Harvey into that theater, but the verdict went the other way. I really wonder how many people are doing any kind of jail time for refusing jury duty. I find it hard to believe. Also, refusing and ignoring are two different things. I don't refuse, I ignore. Like I don't exist. I am serious though. They have money. If they want to get on people for not responding they need to serve the notices in person or certified mail. Just sending something through the US Mail proves nothing. Anyway, I used to think of all sorts of excuses for not doing it till one day I figured why respond at all. "The 12 Angry Men kind", lol.

> I read on the notice the penalties for not showing up. Even as a juror you can end up in jail. The courts want everyone under their thumb. Even by doing nothing you will break some law.

Sometimes it's best not to be known in the first place.  I remember driving cab in L.A. and the dispatcher was coming over the radio telling drivers to hurry up and pay their taxes and if they're behind to go to "such and such" a place to discuss it.  I think some went.  But I was a minimum wage guy.   I knew it did not apply to me even if other drivers said it did.  Not everyone is in my bracket so I can't say what's best for others.  But in general when it comes to the government it is best to stay anonymous.  Once you're in the system it can be a good thing or bad.  Like when my buddy Charles died and I was his SSI payee.  He was a drinker so they would not send him the checks directly, they came to me.  We'd go to ta check cashing place once a month, I'd cash it in and hand him  the money.  When he died his checks kept coming for 9 months till one day I got a letter asking me to tell Charles his recertification date was coming up.  Of course Charles couldn't make it and I didn't have the balls to show up in his place  Point is, the guy was dead and they didn't even know it.  When I first started getting jury duty notices I let it stress me out thinking of excuses to respond with till one day I realized it's best not to respond at all.  But if I had to go I would get out of it soon enough.  I would tell the judge I am voting innocent no matter who is on the stand.  My religion will not permit to judge people guilty.

> You can't say that to a judge. They will hold you in contempt. When in court everyone plays the game. No one is exempt.

I sincerely doubt that anyone really wanting out of jury duty cannot achieve that goal. Maybe there was a time I'd have volunteered to be on a jury - back when a town meant something to everyone in it. Back when the only people who went on trial were likely guilty anyway. That was an easy time for jurors. Yes, back then I would have made a good juror - doing it for my town and my neighbors - "12 Angry Men Meet Judge Roy Bean" style.

> Trying to get out of jury duty is a no no. Being anxious to get on a jury is often a reason to be rejected. So far being honest is enough to get out of it.

Yes. And I was being honest when I said I would tell the judge or whoever asks the questions that I am not suitable for the position because I am prejudiced in favor of not only this particular defendant but all defendants from the beginning of time. "All people are innocent, Your Honor - even you!"

> The Christian cop out of judge not...

Yes, the old "On the basis of religious beliefs I am sorry I cannot comply" routine. And what's up with the anti Christian attitude anyway? I am not a Christian but some of my best friends are. You need to lighten up, get a better grasp on history before you open your mouth. All religions use the same cop outs. Why did you single out the Christian religion for your animus? Why? We are sick of being pushed around. Yes, I know I just said I am not a Christian - and it was true when I said it. But I have since converted. For the sake of my friends and myself as well I am taking a stand against the kind of prejudice and hate you so blithely spew. Lay off the Christians now. Or we will do the rain dance on your face.

> I got on a guy at work who started to rag on Christians and I really did tell him some of my best friends were Christian. So I hear you brother Tommy Joe.

When I was younger I ragged on all religions and enjoyed the reactions. But I matured. I still see them as stupid but possibly necessary for some people - including even those who don't believe in some roundabout way. Sure, we both know God sometimes tells people to kill a bunch of people. At least some mass murderers have said so. Maybe there would be even more conflict if people didn't have religion to cling to. More killings. Mutilations. Torture. All kinds of stuff, just for kicks. Heaven vs Hell keeps some of these fuckers in line, I guess.