Bullies Anonymous

"My name is Thomas Joseph and I am a bully." It was 5 years ago, my very first Bully's Anonymous meeting - long before anti-bullying became a popular movement. Back in my time admitting one’s weaknesses took real courage. Today it's just a bunch of punk crybabies with everyone looking to get on board the victim train.

My first Anti Bully meeting was an eye opener. I had been told beforehand how to introduce myself. Later in the meeting they called on me to speak a a bit about myself. I admitted I was a bully and needed help but that my situation is a bit different from the norm.

"Different?", came a voice booming from the rear of the room, "How so?"

"Yeah", cried another guy, "Who are you to think your problems are any different from ours?"

Then the whole group began txo chant, "How so?, How so?, How so?", as I pleaded with them for one more chance to explain. Finally they relented.

"I'm sorry", I told them, "I'm new here and you people are right. I realize I am no different from the rest of you - we all have the same problem and must work through it together, but..........", as someone cut me off once again.

"But what?", he boomed with others joining in.

"Please bear with me", I said. "I'm just saying I want to become a better person and not be a bully anymore - but I'm having trouble with it because I don't have a higher power yet."

"No higher power? That's the first step, man - where the hell have you been?"

"Wait", I cried, "I have many higher powers, I just don't know which one to use. Can any of you help me?"

"Just name one and be quick about it", cried a voice from the rear as everyone in the group rose as one and awdvanced toward me chanting, "Name one, name one, name one", until finally in a frenzy I boomed, "YOU, you are my higher power."

"Now you're talking", said the guy leading the charge. Then, turning to the others, he said, "Let's give this joker another chance, how about it?"

The others cheered and shouted, "Yes, yes", over and over. Thus my initiation into Bully's Anonymous was complete. I am proud to say that from that humble start I have risen in the ranks of BA to become Chief Sponsor Administrator of my local unit. I have even managed to change some of the rules. One of the new rules I've installed is that no one can become a member without first surrendering to a group ass beating - followed by being pissed and shit on by everyone in the group. Let's face it, shit has always been one of the greatest bonding agents of all time. Shit is my higher power all the way. Always has been.

On Friday, June 10, 2022 at 4:01:45 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> Bullies Anonymous
>
> "My name is Thomas Joseph and I am a bully." It was 5 years ago, my very first Bully's Anonymous meeting - long before anti-bullying became a popular movement. Back in my time admitting one’s weaknesses took real courage. Today it's just a bunch of punk crybabies with everyone looking to get on board the victim train.
>
> My first Anti Bully meeting was an eye opener. I had been told beforehand how to introduce myself. Later in the meeting they called on me to speak a a bit about myself. I admitted I was a bully and needed help but that my situation is a bit different from the norm.
>
> "Different?", came a voice booming from the rear of the room, "How so?"
>
> "Yeah", cried another guy, "Who are you to think your problems are any different from ours?"
>
> Then the whole group began t xo chant, "How so?, How so?, How so?", as I pleaded with them for one more chance to explain. Finally they relented.
>
> "I'm sorry", I told them, "I'm new here and you people are right. I realize I am no different from the rest of you - we all have the same problem and must work through it together, but..........", as someone cut me off once again.
>
> "But what?", he boomed with others joining in.
>
> "Please bear with me", I said. "I'm just saying I want to become a better person and not be a bully anymore - but I'm having trouble with it because I don't have a higher power yet."
>
> "No higher power? That's the first step, man - where the hell have you been?"
>
> "Wait", I cried, "I have many higher powers, I just don't know which one to use. Can any of you help me?"
>
> "Just name one and be quick about it", cried a voice from the rear as everyone in the group rose as one and a wdvanced toward me chanting, "Name one, name one, name one", until finally in a frenzy I boomed, "YOU, you are my higher power."
>
> "Now you're talking", said the guy leading the charge. Then, turning to the others, he said, "Let's give this joker another chance, how about it?"
>
> The others cheered and shouted, "Yes, yes", over and over. Thus my initiation into Bully's Anonymous was complete. I am proud to say that from that humble start I have risen in the ranks of BA to become Chief Sponsor Administrator of my local unit. I have even managed to change some of the rules. One of the new rules I've installed is that no one can become a member without first surrendering to a group ass beating - followed by being pissed and shit on by everyone in the group. Let's face it, shit has always been one of the greatest bonding agents of all time. Shit is my higher power all the way. Always has been.

Power is what it is all about. The power to change. To be all you can be. The power to bully.... oh oh...

OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> Power is what it is all about. The power to change. To be all you can be. The power to bully.... oh oh...

I'm a bully, you're bully, everybody's a bully. Bully for us.

Bully bully