On Thursday, January 16, 1997 at 1:00:00 AM UTC-7, doc wrote:
> Since we're all into an Ebonics frenzy, I thought I would resurrect
> the old "Spelling with Darnell" file. It's kinda like Ebonics but
> different.
> LEARNING TO SPELL WITH "DARNELL"
> This is "Learning to Spell with Darnell." I be Darnell Jackson, and
> today we're gonna spell the word__________. Spell it with me now,
> ____________. Now let's use it in a sentence.
>
> Widen: "When my girlfriend, Larina, told me she was pregnant I
> said, widen you tell me you didn't use no birth control?"
> Urinal: "After the police broke down my front door last night,
> they said, Darnell, urinal lot of trouble."
> Undermine: "There's a fine looking bitch living in the apartment
> right undermine.
> Stain: "My sister and brother-in-law stopped by the other day, so I
> asked them, you plannin on stain?"
> Sodomy: "When I go out at night, I like to have a bitch on one
> sodomy and another bitch on the other sodomy."
> Semen: "I never did know who my papa was cause my mama semen
> left and right."
> Seldom: "I had two extra tickets to the basketball game the
> other night, so I seldom to my friend."
> Rectum: "I had two Cadillacs, but my girlfriend rectum both."
> Polyp: "On my way home from the Piston's game the other night,
> I was involved in a five-car polyp on I-75."
> Penis: "I saw my parole officer the other day and he handed me
> a little paper cup and said, here penis.
> Orgasm: "I asked my cousin Dexter about the death penalty in his
> state. I asked if they electrocute em, hang, orgasm."
> Oreo: "I told my friend, Alonzo, if he wanted my sister, he
> could pay me 50 bucks now oreo me 100 bucks on Friday."
> Oral: "My friend Sebastian said, give me 25 cents oral blow
> your head off."
> Odyssey: "When I got back from the Windsor Ballet, I told my
> friends, you odyssey the tits on that babe."
> Menstruate: "With the fashions today you can't keep the women and
> menstruate."
> Manual: "I told my buddy Tyrone, manual get yourself in trouble
> if you keep messing with that hoe."
> Letter: "The ugly bitch downstairs came knocking on Darnell's
> door the other night and I wouldn't letter in."
> July: "After the trial, my mama asked me, did you tell the
> truth or July?"
> Income: "My girlfriend and I just got into bed, when income my
> wife."
> Horde: "My mama always did have a bad reputation cause she
> horde around in her school."
> Honor: "At our rape trial the judge asked my buddy Jarvis, who
> be honor?"
> Homo: "The bitch I'm living with called me at the bar the
> other night. She said Darnell, honey, are you coming homo what?"
> Fortify: "I asked this bitch down on 6 Mile--How much? She said
> fortify dollars. honey."
> Formaldehyde: "The police came to my door looking for my cousin
> Melvin. I told them there ain't no place formaldehyde in the house,
> it be too small."
> Foreclose: "If I don't pay my alimony this month, I'll have more
> money foreclose."
> Fascinate: "My sister Wolanda bought a sweater with ten buttons on
> it, but her tits are so big, she can only fascinate."
> Disappointment: "My parole officer told me, if I miss disappointment,
> he's going to send me back to the big house."
> Dimension: "A lot of you ladies been calling in wondering what
> Darnell look like. Well, he's tall, dark, handsome, not dimension
> hung like a horse."
> Derange: "Derange is where the deer and the antelope play."
> Decide: "My favorite girls are Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to
> keep a couple on decide.
> Data: "At my basketball game the other night, I score a triple
> double and my coach said data boy Darnell."
> Copulate: "I called 911 and an hour later when they showed up, I
> said copulate."
> Connoisseur: "I says to my friend Ramone, man you really stink today,
> what connoisseur did you crawl out of?"
> Coatroom: "The judge said, one more outburst like that and I'll
> have the bailiff clear the coatroom."
> Clothesline: "When I came home late again, I found my clothesline on
> the porch."
> Catacomb: "I went to the Douglas/Hollyfield fight and sat next to
> Don King: man, someone oughta get that catacomb."
> Button: "My girlfriend Juanita bought some leopard skin stretch
> pants. I said girl, you won't get you button 'em."
> Beware: "I asked the man at the employment office, is this
> beware I find be a job?"
> Battery: "The coach told my cousin Reggie he better start
> swinging the battery won't be in the line up tomorrow."
> Bagdad: "I always wondered what was in the Bagdad use to drink
> out of when he was sitting on the front porch."
> Assert: "On the way home from work, I always take assert so my
> old lady don't smell liquor on my breath."
> Anus: "The policeman told me and my friend Jerome they be
> looking for the two guys that held up the liquor store and we
> said---anus."
> Afford: "I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but then had to settle for
> afford.