My rocking chair arm rest was cracking. I sat in the chair and applied
wood glue to the crack. Then I put a pipe clamp on the arm and tightened
it. The pipe clamp is 2 feet long and it went across the whole chair to
the other arm rest.

What I did not realize is that I was now trapped in the chair. I could
not pull my legs out with that pipe clamp in front of me.

I sat there for nearly two hours trying to decide what to do. And since
my phone was out in my car, I could not call 911.

Thats when I realized my pocket knife was in my pocket and there was
only one thing to do. I grabbed the knife and cut off both of my legs.
And since I didnt want to land on my testicles, I also cut them and my
penis off too.

Finally I was freed from that chair. But I did require medical treatment
at that time and called for an ambulance.....
..