Been in bed for two days, maybe more. Feeling guilty thinking about you posting and me not responding. If I could have stayed asleep forever I would have. I loved it. But today I forced myself out of bed, although not out of the apartment. I wanted to see and respond to all your posts to make up for my absence. Then I come into the group and see only a few posts from you. I was feeling guilty over nothing. You did this to me. I am already stressed nearly to max, now you are about to push me over the edge. This is good as I haven't posted any really edgy stuff in a long time and it's over due. Man do I feel out of it. I'm declining fast. Yet I feel I have the strength to bounce back if so inclined. Caught in the middle, wanting to live and wanting to die (but only on my terms, which probably don't exist), too afraid to pick one and just roll with it. Dead or alive, reminds me of the old wanted posters from the old Western days. Bringing them back dead is easier, no back talk and you don't have to feed it. But there's also something missing. A little verbal give and take. A bit of torture. Maybe even the real deal, all the way. Bring back a guy who doesn't look anything at all like the photo on the wanted poster. "Are you sure you got the right guy", says the Sheriff, "he doesn't look like this on the poster."

"Well, he did before I got through with him", says the bounty hunter.

"We said 'dead or alive'", says the Sheriff, "we didn't say nothing about torture."

"Torture? I never laid a hand on him. That swollen face is from the sun, not from my fists. I tied him face up to his horse's saddle and the sun burst his face apart."

"You didn't give him water?"

"Nope, barely had enough for myself. I give him water, maybe I don't make it back. Then what? I'll tell you then what - you've got a wanted murderer on the loose. We don't want that, do we? I didn't think so."

BE A GOOD SATANIST,
AND KILL YOURSELF

"Thomas Joseph" who is "BOZO" Smilkstein . . .

ARCHETYPE: DEMON POSSESSED
BOZO GAY JAY SMILKSTEIN

https://www.hfunderground.com/wiki/images/thumb/3/3c/Bozo_fest.jpg/300px-Bozo_fest.jpg

"Thomas Joseph" wrote in message
news:68509b21-3b97-4be2-9c00-ae66957488aan@googlegroups.com...

Been in bed for two days, maybe more. Feeling guilty thinking about you
posting and me not responding. If I could have stayed asleep forever I
would have. I loved it. But today I forced myself out of bed, although not
out of the apartment. I wanted to see and respond to all your posts to make
up for my absence. Then I come into the group and see only a few posts from
you. I was feeling guilty over nothing. You did this to me. I am already
stressed nearly to max, now you are about to push me over the edge. This is
good as I haven't posted any really edgy stuff in a long time and it's over
due. Man do I feel out of it. I'm declining fast. Yet I feel I have the
strength to bounce back if so inclined. Caught in the middle, wanting to
live and wanting to die (but only on my terms, which probably don't exist),
too afraid to pick one and just roll with it. Dead or alive, reminds me of
the old wanted posters from the old Western days. Bringing them back dead
is easier, no back talk and you don't have to feed it. But there's also
something missing. A little verbal give and take. A bit of torture. Maybe
even the real deal, all the way. Bring back a guy who doesn't look anything
at all like the photo on the wanted poster. "Are you sure you got the right
guy", says the Sheriff, "he doesn't look like this on the poster."

"Well, he did before I got through with him", says the bounty hunter.

"We said 'dead or alive'", says the Sheriff, "we didn't say nothing about
torture."

"Torture? I never laid a hand on him. That swollen face is from the sun,
not from my fists. I tied him face up to his horse's saddle and the sun
burst his face apart."

"You didn't give him water?"

"Nope, barely had enough for myself. I give him water, maybe I don't make
it back. Then what? I'll tell you then what - you've got a wanted murderer
on the loose. We don't want that, do we? I didn't think so."