From my thread "D-moon onset" on alt.religion.druid:

[F4P] fully on 2:29 p.m., so cult conditioning has been broken.

Shortly after that I happened to glance at a wedding picture
of my dead parents, and got a strong impression that my
father is vey happy with me. Since then I have the impression
that both of them are happy with me, but especially my father.

"I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And when they've caressed me as oft-times before
I never will play the wild rover no more"

So anyway, from that I have some encouragement to continue.

--
https://www.nfld.com/~dalton/dtales.html Salmon on the Thorns (mystic page)
"This could be the final breath; This is life and death;
This is hard rock and water; Out here between wind and flame;
Between tears and elation; Lies a secret nation" (Ron Hynes)