Just saw our favorite commercial for the 4,998th time. I didn't start to officially start marking them down till after I'd seen it a few times, so let's just call it 5,000.

I was watching the guy with the cookie. I counted the number of times the cookie was shown including the opener with his hand in the cookie jar. I can't remember exactly how many times I saw the cookie, so the number would not be official anyway. Why? Because there were several what I would call half showings, like where he'd have the cookie up by his mouth ready to take a bite but would lower it slowly. That's almost cheating.

Point is, I focused almost exclusively on the cookie this time, blocked out the rest of the commercial. He never takes a bite. He is about to several times, but new info from the cellphone lady prompts him to pause. My plan was to see for sure when the cookie makes it's last appearance. Right near the end when the cellphone bitch says, "That's it, we're getting that $9..99 plan", he looks like he's ready to take a bite but doesn't. I was careful to watch closely to get the full cookie story. As many times as the cookie was seen near the guy's mouth he never took a bite - and I was focused in all the way. Not only do we never see the guy take a bite, the cookie is perfectly round at the end of the ad.

Some will say that it's because the cookie is fake, plastic or whatever - but I say it's because the writers know a lot of viewers are afraid of dying and want to live forever. The cookie represents illness and death in the form of artery clogging heart attacks. For the writers it was a CvC motif. CvC -Colonial vs Cookie. Life vs death. Eat the cookie and die, buy Colonial and live. Colonial vs the Cookie. And if you don't agree, then it's You vs Me!