Mornings seem a tad busier lately than before. Trying to "sleep in" is something of a "not these days" type of issue (because tending to Mom is more of a job/duty as she's become less mobile and in greater need of assistance.. If she gets down to "palliative care" level, then it'll be time for a nursing home, but as long as she can "maintain hygiene," all is well.)

At any rate, 2 days ago (on the 5th) I was attempting to write up an entry, and well, stuff simply "happens" and as a consequence, "other stuff" gets "put aside."

In journaling dreams, that can be something of a "losing proposition" as a *lot* of content simply "evaporates" after a day or two and is simply no longer available for reasonable recall.

But *last night* I (deliberately) sacked out on the couch in the living room, knowing I'll get at least a good, *decent* half-night's sleep, and sure enough, I awoke around 4 AM to both myself and the dog (needing a "nature break") but here's the thing: I had a *wonderfully* vivid dream just before waking, nad it goes a bit like this:

The dreamer was in some manner dealing with a high-performance automobile, *similar to* a late-model (possibly future model) darker red Corvette, yet with a "feel" more like a Ferrari (like with an absolute speed-performance high-end line model, yet with sports car luxury focus. I've just listened to around 20 of the "top 10" car engine audios on YouTube, and the only one that came even *close* was the Lamborghini Countach LP500S.)

Apparently, most car engine audio videos are for some reason fascinated with the tail pipes, which produce a rather *throaty* sound, sometimes like a "growl" or "angry" sound. (One video even sounded like a classic Harley-Davidson!)

This particular scene was a view of "under the hood," of the engine compartment, and *most* of it was "covered" with one of those dark (blackish) either leather or plastic protection shrouds. (For some reason, the impression of fabric was more prevalent than hard plastic, *unless* the plastic had been shape-formed to portray the dips and rises of the components beneath it..)

The dreamer had the keys to the vehicle (not specifically a fob, yet there may certainly have been a fob on it) but there was some type of issue with the ignition system itself: If the keys were turned, there was a *broken* wire (I'm *thinking* it was colored red, to indicate it was from the hot positive terminal) that was (seemingly, logically) positioned somewhere between the battery's + terminal and the starter, yet near the top front of the engine compartment (like in the area *traditionally* over the radiator zone) *and this break in the wire* prevented *any* current running to the starter, like turning on a light switch to a lamp with no bulb.

The dreamer was holding the two ends of the broken wire, such that there was an exposed (silvery) wire tip in the left hand and also an exposed (silvery) tip in the right hand. Now normally, when someone is connecting two wires, there's *usually* about a half inch of exposed wire that may be twisted or crimped or capped together in some manner. In this case, there was only about a "point" of wire exposed on each side, maybe a single millimeter on each side.

So when the dreamer "held" those two wire tips together, the engine purred to life. The dreamer even "revved" the engine a bit (this is typically a *very* simple maneuver from under the hood— or at least, it used to be, back when the gas pedal physically activated a rod that actuated the fuel intake / carburetor in some manner) then let the engine stop, *possibly* by letting go of the two ends of the wire, although "IRL" (in the real world) once the current to the starter has completed the ignition sequence, one *should* be able to totally disconnect the battery as the vehicle will continue to run via the alternator/generator. Even so, the *sound* of the engine was, in some dream-like, spiritual-mechanical manner, *beautiful!* It had the hum of a motor, yet also had the high-pitched "whine" of a turbocharger. (People who know turbos know that a turbo's "whine" is usually a *beautiful* sound, rather than an irritating "whine," like that of a child or cranky person.)

So sure, it's been a few years since I've had to dabble under the hood, and that information *may* be significantly outdated in today's modern mechanics, but I definitely recall once viewing a car running back in the day, IRL, with *no* battery.

At any rate, in the dream, the dreamer seemed to be of the opinion that the engine would run only with the wire points held together.

Then someone came into the picture, so to speak: A man (looking *very* much like myself, although more like my real life biological father, although Dad physically passed back in 2006, and with an actually "more mature" look, even though more like in his 40s or 50s, whereas I'm in my *early* 60s) appeared to the dreamer's left, so here's the layout of the scene:

The dreamer is like at the center-point of a traditional, 12-hour clock face, where the hands come together at the center-point of the face. The car is aimed as if from 2–2:30 pointing *towards* the center-point of the clock face. The dreamer is in the front of the car (the center-point of the clock face) as well as tending towards the car's left (driver's side, in the USA) to around 3:30 of the clock face.

The character / man who enters is slightly ahead of the front right of the car's right headlight / fender (passenger's side in the USA) at *about* 10 o'clock per the clock face.

What the guy does: Somehow he tells the dreamer to start the car, or in some way *starts* the car without any actual physical action to indicate having done so. Sort of like the word "start" is spoken, and the car starts.

The engine is humming along beautifully as the dreamer is holding the two wire points together.

The guy *revs* the engine up to around maybe 4 to 6 thousand RPM (just as an estimate. No tachometer was actually observed) and holds it there, sustained like a well-played whole note, tied to another whole note, blown on a wind instrument (in other words, a good 6 to 8 count rev.)

The dreamer (basically, me, "I") stood there listening to the engine hum, appreciating every moment of its purring / humming, thinking that was perhaps *the* most beautiful engine hum he'd (I've) ever heard.

Then the dreamer realized that the engine would only run if those two wires were held together, and basically let go of the wires as the engine simply wound straight down into a perfect halt.

So while the dream ended (clarity 9++/10-ish) I awoke thinking that the *very next step* would be to find *some* way to solder/connect those two wire ends and protect them from grounding out in some manner (likely with heavy wrapping with black electrical tape.)

Another thought that came about had to deal with the possibly symbology of the car as the "relationship vehicle" of Gina and myself, but that's a rather "wide open to interpretation" type possibility.

Today is my oldest son's 32ⁿᵈ birthday. "Happy Birthday, Son!" 🍰 🎉 🎶

There was, however, a *rather interesting* dream / experience this morning right around 4 AM (possibly 4:30) wherein the dreamer was in an amicable discussion with Gina, as if in her bedroom or such.

The dreamer was a *bit* surprised at being *in* this situation: she wasn't arguing, fighting, calling for backup, nothing, just listening / conversing with the dreamer.

There was some very distinct dialogue going on here as well, and while I *could've* recited it "verbatim" upon waking, what follows is "as close as I can get it" this late in the morning (it's around 9:30 AM.)

The dreamer was mentioning to her how sorry he was for not having explained that night in her dorm room that he believed in "Marriage before sex" which is why there'd been no intercourse that evening (Thursday, October 15th, 1981) and that it was not meant to be any kind of slur or insult on her beauty, but rather a respect *of* her as a person.

She gave a very curt reply, something *along* the lines of [no matter]— more like: [That's not an issue.]

In fact, the very next moment, the dreamer was feeling *as if* she was luring him into her arms for completing that very objective.

The dreamer was *thinking* along the lines of, "No, no, we need to be married *first*" when there appeared to be some type of ointment about her "lower lips" (to put it politely.) (*Note: If you've ever witnessed the "white grease" of an umbilical cord during a live birth, then you know the color / texture of the ointment being referenced.)

The next thing the dreamer knew, he had his mouth (and tongue) directly upon that region, and the *next* thing that happened was a *brief* moment of darkness, along with what felt like two opposable thumbs pressed upon his eyeballs, creating an image / sensation of absolute darkness where the thumbs were lightly pressing, followed by (and no, this is not imaginary— it's just what *seemed* to be happening!) the dreamer emerged *as an infant being delivered vaginally* — followed by a sentence / gentle command (that sounded like Gina's voice) saying "Open your eyes."

The dreamer's eyes opened (the thumbs had either come away or were pushed away by the dreamer's arms / hands in some manner) and the view was as that of an infant looking at a new life but with *somewhat* blurry vision, a bit like if you (as a reading adult) had awoken with a "sleep dirt" film across your corneas.

The *moment* this view was observed, the dream ended, and I awakened, a bit mystified by the event, clarity 9+ to 7 (during the seduction scene) to 0 (the thumbs on the eye lids) to 10 (the birth) to 10- (the blurred vision.)

Now it just so happens that I did manage to get "back to sleep" (somewhat) following that experience, and had *something* of a waking vision type scene around 6:30 AM (before my elderly mother rang her bell for me to help her get up)— it was one of those *not* black & white but [black and eyelid peach] contrast visions, what you sometimes see *just behind your eyes* when you're *just about to awaken.* (Right, I know, not everybody may have had such a vision experience, but I consider them as something like a cross between a full-sleep dream and an out-of-body experience, as they *typically* occur just as I'm *about* to wake up but choose to rest a few more moments in bed.)

The view *began* with a swirl of light *as if* clouds were coalescing into a sun. In fact, they did just that, only instead of the *brightly focused* sun from "real life," it was more like a fuzzy yet brighter-than-the-peach-contrast ball, clearly meant to serve as a "sun," about the size of what is typically observed as the sun is setting (or rising) over a body of water (like as may be seen from an ocean coastline.)

The *perspective* was like that of a drone camera shot of a shoreline, taken from a *few hundred* yards from the shoreline, facing the shore. In fact, the view came to resemble that of an island, *similar* to that famous shot in "Gilligan's Island" but a bit longer, and the phrase "Garden of Eden" went through my mind as I observed it, although again, it *was* an ocean view of land, looking very much like an island.

There was a single, dark figure (like all the background was a contrast of light, peach, and black, but the figure was like an action figure that represented a void in contrast with the landscape) that seemed to travel directly out across the water and "up to" the land, looking *very much* like an ascending figure from the sea. But as the perspective was from such a ways out on the water, the figure seemed small indeed.

There was something of a mental effort to revisit the sun scene in the clouds again, but at that point, the vision ended (clarity: vision) and my dog ("Ginger") had her nose over the edge of my mattress, and would not leave me alone, as is her typical "Get up, human! Let me out! Then Feed Me!" attitude. :-)

This morning was a *tad* less usual than others, as I was *lacking any urge* to get up and do anything. All I wanted to do was sleep, as if there were a dream waiting to arrive, after which, I'd feel like getting up and doing things.

Well, seeing as how it's now past 11:30 AM, sure enough, napping on the couch has brought about the expected dream and consequential impulse to get up and get busy.

Starting back a bit further, and I'm unsure as to *when* exactly this dream / image was experienced / seen, but: within perhaps the past 24 to 48 hours, I (the dreamer) saw an image of a type of woven fabric in a field of darkness. Mind you, the entire scene was darkness *except* for the woven fabric, which looked like the *shape* of a "decently formed" human bowel movement, as if it had been one of a goodly vegetarian-based diet, although it possibly healthier, like with bits of meat, ham, bacon, sausage, bread, whatever. As there was no scale for comparison in the darkness, let's just say it was around 5"–6" in length, thus no more than ¾"–1¼" in diameter, and tapered a bit at both ends, more like the shape of a tamped cigar, like a "round nose" or "full metal jacket" bullet point than a soft point.

Now sure, this *could* have just been a "light strand artwork" of a cigar. I'm just saying that the dreamer had the "sense" of it being a turd. What was *fascinating* was the lit cage-like structure of the strands outlining the shape of the darkness. For all I know, it could have simply been a view of the light structure, as whatever was *within* the structure was simply as dark as the rest of the background. And the wiring / strands were *roughly* lateral, rather than vertical, as if someone had taken an object {a turd or a cigar} and rapidly wrapped it with 3 or 4 winds of light strands, resulting in an appearance *reminiscent* of a tumbleweed.

Also, the "art form" was motionless, simply viewed as it was, a winding of light strands around a form of darkness, set within a background of darkness, as if an astronaut in deep space was seeing it also floating in space, with no other stars visible. And while the clarity was "sparkling clear" with respect to the strands of light, the fact that it was all a purely two-toned contrast between light and dark could *easily* give it a "clarity rating of 2" although a level 2 is something more "barely remembered" than simply "two-toned," giving this a rating of 7, as it may have been symbolic of something as simple as "the glory of waste"— that is, life / existence is a miracle, sure, yet also is the *consequence* of that existence: the waste that is recycled back into the "matrix" of existence, such as "the environment."

The reason I bring this "forgotten" dream / image / vision back to mind (and to this journal) is because of the *late* dream I had shortly before 11:30 AM this morning:

The Recycler:
IN REAL LIFE last night and today, the outside weather is *very blustery,* with winds *easily* in the 20–50 MPH range, and this blustery weather extends from the gulf states up the Eastern Central United States and along the East Coast (with "Lake Effect" snow storms in parts of southeast Canada, around the Great Lakes, like Toronto Ontario (Canada) through Buffalo New York (USA.)

IN REAL LIFE: In a home with at least one window open, even if only a crack to a few inches, blustery winds may easily cause a shut bedroom door to "whomp" a bit with the back & forth flow & ebb of the variations in air pressure with respect to the air pressure & currents on the bedroom side of the door, in contrast to the (different) pressure & (practically no) current (on the hallway side of the door.)

IN REAL LIFE: Simply sliding a piece of laminated paper (like a door hanger notification for emergency personnel) between the door and the jamb effectively "silences" the whomping effect/stills the door in the jamb.

IN THE DREAM: The dreamer is in a pleasant setting, similar to a country/rural style home, *similar* to a *new* mobile home, but *feeling* like a "frame-built," concrete foundation-based home.

The dreamer is hearing a steady sound, like a quiet, soft, electronic buzz, leading the dreamer to "investigate" (as in curiously following) the source of the sound, so as to identify just what the heck was causing it. The sound was different from that of an overhead light, or can opener, or any type of familiar electronic tool, but did have a *soft* grating sound to it, like it may have been a micro-fine rotary shredder of some type, something that could grate on the level of a millimeter rather than a larger grater that would pulp wood, yet larger than sandpaper.

Regardless, the dreamer followed the buzzing noise through what may have been a living room (all the walls were spotless, nearly luminous white, and the flooring *may* have been white linoleum or carpet, as it simply was not the focus of observation: the view was focused forward, as through the living room then through a hallway door.

Now here's an interesting effect: the first door opened by itself, "inward," as away from the dreamer's presence, as to allow the dreamer's perspective to flow into the (short) hallway. Yet this first door was "matched" by a second door, about 4'–6' further down the "hallway" (which was more like a short corridor, wider than the hallway of my childhood home) which *also* opened away from the dreamer's perspective, which flowed into a small room that seemed a bit like a mudroom (laundry area) which the dreamer did take a moment to investigate *slightly,* trying to take in whatever function the room was serving.

A quick note about the doors' *hinges*:

Facing the door, the *first* door's hinges were to the dreamer's left, so the door opened inward as if for a right-handed person using a knob on the right (although no knobs were visible. Come to think of it, neither were any hinges, yet the doors "swung open" as if there were.)

The *second* door's hinges were to the dreamer's right, as if a left-handed person would have used a knob on the left side, yet the door also swung open inward.

Now *it is *VERY POSSIBLE* that my recollection of these hinge positions may be reversed* such that the first door's hinges were on the left, the second on the right, etc., but the main gist is that they *were* hinged on *opposing sides* and they *both* opened *inward* towards the small room at the end of the hallway.

It seemed to be like a type of "garbage closet," as the room was only about 3'–4' deep (from the point of entrance) although it *could* have been deeper. The doors just passed through (possibly the "doors of perception"??) were not even considered as the dreamer was looking at the wall area directly ahead (like, running left-to-right rather than near-to-far) and the area *directly ahead* of the dreamer's view was a bit like a wall panel, of roughly 2½'x2½', centered at about eye-level or *possibly* a few inches lower (so the dreamer may have been "shorter" than my physical being of just over 6') and the buzzing noise seemed to be from the room (possibly the panel) in which the dreamer was standing.

I *think* the dreamer may have pushed a button (like "OPEN" or such) consequently opening the panel in some manner, such that the dreamer saw an area within the panel, a bit like a very small pantry, not too deep (maybe 1'–2½'?) with 2 or 3 items in the small room.

ONE of the items was a small box, of maybe 2½"x2½"x2½", with a lid that fit over the top with sidewalls, a bit like a hat box or shoe box. ON the box was the word, plainly written (tho perhaps in pencil): "Silk" (mixed case, no punctuation, no other description.)

The dreamer *retrieved* that box, yet for some reason avoided looking into it to determine its contents, yet there *was* the desire to *look*, but there was other action taking place that "pulled focus" as they say, that "drew the dreamer's attention" to the action that was occurring:

There was a change to the steady buzzing sound, that resembled the end of a machine cycle, and sure enough, a small "brick" of shredded material became visible within the small pantry, as if it had "just arrived" yet was identical to another "small brick" of "shredded material" that was then visible, as if it had been there all that time, yet the dreamer simply hadn't noticed it in the scene *until* the arrival of the newer brick.

Each brick was *roughly* 6"x3"x3", although the newer brick *may* have been a wee tad smaller (perhaps in weight?) that then first brick (although neither was "picked up" as if to "weigh" them.)

The dreamer *attempted* to read the labels on the bricks, particularly the newer one, and although it was "legible within the dream" it was also *partially unclear* as if there may have been too much written there to take it all in, somewhat like the ingredients on a jar of modern peanut butter, that is *far more* than simply "peanuts and oil."

Part of the label seemed to indicate the shredded content as suitable for compost or kitty litter, and although it *seemed* as if it was composed of a lot of shredded paper and possibly plastic, gave the dreamer the impression that it was totally biodegradable after some fashion, and that the small pantry / mudroom *may* have been for a type of storage for the purpose of recycling material content (of whatever nature.)

Strange "carport"
Awkward "gathering"

Just so you know, last night (a few hours *before* bed, which was around midnight) I attended (by Zoom) one of the "Chris Duncan" / "Magnetic Mind" seminars. (They're week-long sessions, held perhaps once or twice a year, and are free for the signing up, although make no doubt about it, he's looking for fish to take up the "$100 bait" opportunities offered throughout the week / (one meeting a day, for 5 days.) (If interested, here's a starting link: christophermduncan.com/courses — but I *highly recommend* FIRST getting a "Red Letter Edition" of the New Testament and studying the first 4 books— Matthew, Mark, Luke and John— and studying *only* those Words "Written in Red"— That will help a *lot* of this start to make sense.)

A little bit about *just what* the "Magnetic Mind" approach is all about: It's a method of [opening the mind to the creative structure / process] to allow *radical* (nearly "instant," nearly "miraculous") adjustments to an individual's personality / psyche, basically "removing" obstacles that impede a person's progress. In short, it gets you from point "Now A" (old, existing life) to point "Now B" (new, future-present life) by simply "leveling the playing field" in a way, in basically just a few moments (like a 5 or 10-minute meditation period) which is *very similar* to hypnosis, but with a positive, life-affirming consequence.

Now this is something I've only "barely" studied, but it's been more along the lines of: "That's *so similar* to Christianity / what Jesus teaches!" that it's becoming more like, "Oh, so *that's* what Jesus is sharing in His teaching!" although there's a *bit* of "that seems just a tad 'off' from what Jesus teaches" or "the teaching of Jesus reveals a "true" version of this that you (Chris) *could* benefit from, if you ever decided to 'listen' to Him."

Thus, while I've been listening to Duncan's session(s) it's more like listening to a non-Christian preacher teaching *pretty much* a LOT of the same principles that are taught in the New Testament, although clearly from a "secular" perspective. For example, referring to "God the Father" as the "Super-Conscious." Referring to "pick up your cross daily and follow Me" as "letting go of" your old self (aka "sinful ways.") The concept of "imagining your new life" as akin to "With God, *all* things are possible" (although Jesus teaches the precept in an *infinitely* capable manner, whereas Duncan appears to have a bit of a limited, finite, earth-based perspective.)

So with that bit of an introduction of contrast, here are two of the dreams from last night / this morning:

Strange "carport": Very little of this dream is actually remembered, but it somehow involved an individual (who seemed to be the "main guy" of the dream) with a type of vehicle, *similar* to a large farm-type "combine-harvester" (wikipedia.org/wiki/Combine_harvester) with a type of "racing spoiler" (the type of tail fin used by fast cars to keep their tires firmly on the road) that was the width of 3 or 4 cars beneath an awning, such as at a gas station designed for a large number of vehicles pulling in and out, side by side with room to spare.

I can report this general width because of what happened in the dream scene: Whatever it was that the (only) character was driving was pulled underneath such an awning, and then the "spoiler" was *raised* in a fashion, as if it were being used to *support* the awning in some manner. That was basically all there was (that I could remember) of this first scene, clarity 8-ish (mainly due to presence of the "what was *that* all about?" factor.)

Awkward "gathering": This is one wherein the dreamer was *wearing* clothes that were *very* princess-like, such as what a young girl at a costume, Hallowe'en, or slumber party might wear for fun. And yes, the dreamer felt *very* awkward wearing this outfit, as if thinking / sensing, "WHAT am I *doing* in *this outfit*?!?!"

Then, without skipping a beat, the dreamer felt as would a father doing some type of "dress up" stunt just to make his daughter happy, like, "Don't all dads do this kind of inane, silly stunt at some point or another (as for a young daughter)?"

So, going with the *premise* that *perhaps* "he" was dressed like a "princess" of some sort *may* have been for a "make your daughter child happy" type event, the dreamer began noticing the outfit itself, namely, the *light pink* color that was noticed at first, and also the "ballerina" tutu-type appearance, *similar* to this one
( i.etsystatic.com/14572646/r/il/e8a029/1454808128/il_fullxfull.1454808128_1ctc.jpg )
but mind you, a few points: 1, this post is likely to *way* outlast that link, and 2, it's really only a general likeness, as the view in the dream wasn't that clear regardless, like, "How well can a guy *see* the *tutu he's wearing*, anyways?"

So then there's the view of the floor area, which appears well *spotted* with dirty areas, like someone walked in wearing their clod-hoppers from the barnyard or something.

There was a small group of girls, all around maybe age 7 or 8 to 9 or 10, and there was the *sense* that they were headed or needed to sit on that floor for some reason, so the dreamer (wearing a tutu, remember!) had something like a "bridal train" composed of a type of pink mesh netting used to affix flowers of various types, possibly roses included, yet without any stems or thorns, just the flowers themselves, like from the tip-top end of the "receptacle" / bottom of the "sepal" / sepals, upward— the flower itself. This train / flower-impregnated mesh netting was simply "tossed outward" ahead of the dreamer, like a person might throw a rug upon a floor, and all the little girls sat upon it, likely thankful for avoiding having to sit in the mud, but let's not kid ourselves here, they *may* have had *zero* mindfulness of the gesture *at all.* For all they may have been aware, someone had simply laid out a very nice place for them to sit— and they sat— all looking forward (backs to the dreamer's perspective) as if watching a show that was a bit of a distance ahead of them.

Now I *sincerely* believe this dream was, in some manner, a *direct* consequence of the "recode" / meditation process of the Chris Duncan seminar. That's what the "super-conscious" does: it simply writes (rewrites) a narrative in such a manner as to produce the "field" of existence that "frees" the mind of the individual(s) within the "recode" so as to achieve the end result of a "deliberately perceived" outcome. Very much like: "Think it, See it, Be it." (That's my line, but I believe it pretty much sums up what the lengthier session of Chris Duncan was aiming to achieve.)

At any rate, the clarity of that particular segment / dream / experience was at about a 9++ / 10-. I mean, the *sense* of "WHAT am I *doing* in a TUTU?!?!?" was *unmistakable!*