Had an *unusual* dream for me, just before waking, as it was unusual for me, *period*—

As someone who lived *practically* without money ever since my parents stopped giving out 50¢ weekly allowances before I entered 1st grade (later, when I got a $1/week allowance, I spent it on acquiring 45 RPM records) I never had much of an idea of what money was good for, or why I should acquire it.

Later, there came a time when I needed to get a job because I'd been *suspended* from college for 2 years and 3 months, and thus needed to get a car (to deliver pizzas) and thus began the need to make car payments and insurance. Still, money was always to fill a whole, rather than to raise a mountain.

For the past few years, I've been handling my mother's finances in order to keep her life running smoothly in the home that she and my dad built, improved and maintained over several decades.

So in that sense, money has been used like keeping a machine properly oiled so that it continues to run properly as well.

During those past years of working, where I was using money to always fill a hole that had been dug, my concept of "dating" was more like "let's go watch a movie" or "out to eat" in order to do something with a gal that I would likely have done myself only with far less interest if doing it only by myself.

Then, of course, came children, and having money was a great thing to have in order to make their lives happier, but still, no intrinsic value of money for myself.

Well, the dream before waking this morning "changed" all that: I dreamt I had about $200.oo (USD) or so (perhaps more, if needed) and the thought occurred to me that I could ask Gina out on a date, *just* to spend money on her, on our having a good time together.

Before any concrete plans were established, before she could commit to a "sure," or "sorry, I'm busy" type answer, the dream ended, and I was drifting towards waking, wondering what I could do to "save" ("salvage") the effort so as to continue forward with it until there was a successful resolution (dating, marriage, family, etc.)

Then came the "waking realization" that I didn't know where she was, then that she was in Canada somewhere, then that she was married, to a second husband (Ray Pascoal) then that there was *almost* no way to even let her know about the desire to ask her out on a date, etc., so here I am, journaling a "unique moment" that was (for now) only a dream, clarity 8, although waking from it felt more like returning from a 10.

The idea of using one's resources to ask a gal out on a date, however, *that* was something new. And here I am, 62!! (Tell me about it!!)