Yes, this is about Reddit, but it's plausible enough. There are 554 comments. It's from a year ago.

Elsewhere, some time ago, I mentioned a AITA thread about a man on a date with a woman who, he found out, wanted to be childfree...AND a housewife.

Apparently, SHE hadn't heard that with modern household appliances, you can't argue that housekeeping is a full-time job. Or that millennials, at least, are not eager to work 40 hours while supporting a spouse who only works 20 hours. (Obviously, anyone at home with a baby or toddler, by contrast, typically works far more than 40 hours.)

What men - aside from those who want trophy wives because the men have more money than they know what to do with - have ever wanted to support wives who want far more leisure time for themselves than the MEN have?
Incredibly, most of the commentators attacked HIM.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qsrqa0/aita_for_laughing_at_a_childfree_woman_wanting_to/?sort=controversial

So I listed them according to "controversial," since that's the best way to find those who, very sensibly, pointed out that of COURSE we would laugh out loud at the would-be homemaker...if the genders were reversed. Just because she might consider her hobbies or other non-paying pursuits to be worthwhile doesn't mean anyone else is willing to SUPPORT her and her lifestyle. Even a would-be housewife who plans to have children has to get the partner's consent before expecting the partner to be the sole breadwinner - the "choice" exists only so far as there are enough traditional breadwinning partners to choose from - and plenty of men PREFER wives/mothers who work outside the home. Even full-time.

Interestingly, even those who said "YTA" did NOT suggest that housekeeping for two adults is a full-time job, in this century.

And, for the record, the woman did not suggest that she planned to spend any of her leisure hours doing, say, unpaid secretarial work for her husband. So that would strongly suggest she was, in fact, looking for a sugar daddy - not a balanced adult relationship.

Your thoughts?

To put it another way, there may be a sizable minority of men who want children AND full-time housewives.

But...if a man DOESN'T want any little dependents, why in the world would he want to support an ADULT dependent?

(Except, maybe, if he has unusual needs, such as a lot of home entertaining of bosses and clients, as required in his job. THAT might make the homemaker's role a 40-hour job. Or maybe he wants all his bedsheets ironed, as some pre-boomer housewives used to do.)

On Monday, December 19, 2022 at 12:35:30 PM UTC-5, Lenona wrote:
> To put it another way, there may be a sizable minority of men who want children AND full-time housewives.

And then I got curious and googled it.

From Esquire magazine, in 2010:

"20% of young men surveyed want a traditional, Leave It To Beaver family."

Esquire may not have gotten that from a scientist - I don't know - but that figure sounds about right.

After all, how many men could afford to support a family of four with no other breadwinner - or would want that much responsibility? Especially when the man never knows when he might get hit by a car and be unable to work again?

So in all likelihood, the number of men who don't want children but who would happily support a housewife is MUCH smaller.

(A lot of men are terrified of divorce court, so those men will say they need really compelling reasons to marry in the first place - such as wanting children, or, if not, finding a woman who not only has goals like his but is also willing and able to give him everything he really can't get on his own.)

On Wednesday, December 21, 2022 at 7:30:43 AM UTC-9, Lenona wrote:
> On Monday, December 19, 2022 at 12:35:30 PM UTC-5, Lenona wrote:
> > To put it another way, there may be a sizable minority of men who want children AND full-time housewives.
> And then I got curious and googled it.
>
> From Esquire magazine, in 2010:
>
> "20% of young men surveyed want a traditional, Leave It To Beaver family."
>
> Esquire may not have gotten that from a scientist - I don't know - but that figure sounds about right.
>
> After all, how many men could afford to support a family of four with no other breadwinner - or would want that much responsibility? Especially when the man never knows when he might get hit by a car and be unable to work again?
>
> So in all likelihood, the number of men who don't want children but who would happily support a housewife is MUCH smaller.
>
> (A lot of men are terrified of divorce court, so those men will say they need really compelling reasons to marry in the first place - such as wanting children, or, if not, finding a woman who not only has goals like his but is also willing and able to give him everything he really can't get on his own.)

Frugal living seems to answer questions about affording a family, because with a union job, benefits like retirement, and inheritance, women come out well, since they live longer. The problem is about what a 40-year-old husband sees when he looks in the morning mirror, and secretly knows he can divorce or just split and be a Romeo again. Maybe Mother Nature does that for survival of the species?