It was actually a good one. Though I had pretty much given up (again) after a pretty discouraging pandemic era attempt at finding better lockdown companionship than my roommate and his cat. And 48 years with little experience or success, completely impoverished until around age 40, but still no car and don't have my own place etc, HUGE disqualifying factors leaving little hope if I ever want decent female company. Not to mention deep personal flaws that just cannot be fixed.

And I returned to my old pre-pandemic life which is pretty intensely paced, this time without even pretending to let something like a job get in the way and with no intention of slowing down or altering it one iota for anyone else. However I had been invited to join Facebook dating so I did. Typical waste of time, even more so since most of my matches are in Mexico! But it's free and no upsell and few stolen pictures of eastern European models hitting my feed.

Rarely initiate contact or anything though I sometimes made indecent proposals through Google translate with predictable results.

But this one match, basically a massive fan of a certain band saying other fans should contact her. Now I am not a fan and actually let it go a few days. But as a super music fan and avid concert goer (like every night, really) I had to say something. You see, even though us super fans see ourselves as having some sort of inherent exceptionalism but most people see us as total kooks, not much different than the 50 year old who still plays with Star Wars toys. I mean I am a massive Rolling Stones fan and even I find some of their fans to be completely bonkers even beyond my tolerance.

So my mind kept returning back and I really had to at least make an attempt to talk to her and still find some sort of common ground. So I contacted her to tell her I saw the band on their first little bar tour, if not the hundreds of times they played since. Totally expected to get blown off but conversation kept going and numbers were exchanged.

And her reaction to my lifestyle was I WANT YOUR LIFE. Though it's not so much fun as it looks on my Facebook feed, but constant unrelenting need for escapism. We met for dinner once, hit it off thought I didn't feel an immediate sexual attraction but I liked her and talking to her and sharing stories and experiences with constant texts and possible future meetings. I am just happy to have a possible new friend but no idea what she is thinking.

Saturday's concert was mostly sold out, I was going to go and find a ticket outside and was prepared to pay a lot if I had to as it involved a few bucket list bands of advancing age. But the night before I was just handed a pair and went ahead and put it on blast in case any friends wanted to join me.

She was the first to respond with I wanna go!

Concerts, for me at least, do not work as dates. Going every night doesn't mean I am rich, it just means I know how to do it cheap. Find cheap tickets on the crashing secondary market, take the bus, don't eat and drink inside.. And say it again, don't pay for parking, which has gone into the stratosphere post-pandemic. Just the parking can cost me ten grand a year as much as I go. Be in my seat when the opening band goes on and no leaving early to beat traffic, no beer running mid set. Oh, and I have to record everything so no talking but my hearing is blown out so I can't really verbally communicate anyway. And I don't even wanna go with anyone who isn't also a total concert pro. None of which works well for making an impression on a female.. But I wasn't in that mindset, just I am going to see this band, you can come along but this is how it is.

So I kinda gently explain how I am not really good concert company. Not to mention my resurgent marijuana habit (thanks lockdown, goodbye ten years) and I had an infused treat I was saving just for this show.

But she goes to lots of concerts too if just the one band and gets it and I am not particularly worried. If it's a spectacular fail I am not going to let it ruin my night. I have no eye on the future here. She says we will split parking and with the free tickets I am not going to cheap out now but it's not something I am going to make a habit of doing every night.

We went, everything went smoothly from getting there with time to spare, It was a great show, we had a great time, I even went to guest services and got us better seats. And we found one free street spot half a block away and closer than even most of the parking lots.

So she got the full look at the Beaver_Fever concert experience that few people understand or enjoy, where I could totally be myself without worry, she could definitely hang, have a good time and we ended up hanging out at my place til 3am and will be seeing each other again.

I don't believe that immediate physical attraction is a must. Not like mutual respect and shared values. There are a few things like she is way older than me and already having physical problems so I am just little discouraged over what my options really are now since I was pretty much excluded from participating for most of my life.

No idea where this is going, I actually have most of the year mapped out with almost nightly concerts and lots of travel with every intention of preserving that. But very satisfied that my social and possible dating life took a new and interesting turn, even if for one night.

I mostly wanted a new like minded friend but I will take any benefits offered.

How's everybody else doing?

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 2:52:20 PM UTC-8, Beaver Fever wrote:
> It was actually a good one. Though I had pretty much given up (again) after a pretty discouraging pandemic era attempt at finding better lockdown companionship than my roommate and his cat. And 48 years with little experience or success, completely impoverished until around age 40, but still no car and don't have my own place etc, HUGE disqualifying factors leaving little hope if I ever want decent female company. Not to mention deep personal flaws that just cannot be fixed.
>
> And I returned to my old pre-pandemic life which is pretty intensely paced, this time without even pretending to let something like a job get in the way and with no intention of slowing down or altering it one iota for anyone else. However I had been invited to join Facebook dating so I did. Typical waste of time, even more so since most of my matches are in Mexico! But it's free and no upsell and few stolen pictures of eastern European models hitting my feed.
>
> Rarely initiate contact or anything though I sometimes made indecent proposals through Google translate with predictable results.
>
> But this one match, basically a massive fan of a certain band saying other fans should contact her. Now I am not a fan and actually let it go a few days. But as a super music fan and avid concert goer (like every night, really) I had to say something. You see, even though us super fans see ourselves as having some sort of inherent exceptionalism but most people see us as total kooks, not much different than the 50 year old who still plays with Star Wars toys. I mean I am a massive Rolling Stones fan and even I find some of their fans to be completely bonkers even beyond my tolerance.
>
> So my mind kept returning back and I really had to at least make an attempt to talk to her and still find some sort of common ground. So I contacted her to tell her I saw the band on their first little bar tour, if not the hundreds of times they played since. Totally expected to get blown off but conversation kept going and numbers were exchanged.
>
> And her reaction to my lifestyle was I WANT YOUR LIFE. Though it's not so much fun as it looks on my Facebook feed, but constant unrelenting need for escapism. We met for dinner once, hit it off thought I didn't feel an immediate sexual attraction but I liked her and talking to her and sharing stories and experiences with constant texts and possible future meetings. I am just happy to have a possible new friend but no idea what she is thinking.
>
> Saturday's concert was mostly sold out, I was going to go and find a ticket outside and was prepared to pay a lot if I had to as it involved a few bucket list bands of advancing age. But the night before I was just handed a pair and went ahead and put it on blast in case any friends wanted to join me.
>
> She was the first to respond with I wanna go!
>
> Concerts, for me at least, do not work as dates. Going every night doesn't mean I am rich, it just means I know how to do it cheap. Find cheap tickets on the crashing secondary market, take the bus, don't eat and drink inside. And say it again, don't pay for parking, which has gone into the stratosphere post-pandemic. Just the parking can cost me ten grand a year as much as I go. Be in my seat when the opening band goes on and no leaving early to beat traffic, no beer running mid set. Oh, and I have to record everything so no talking but my hearing is blown out so I can't really verbally communicate anyway. And I don't even wanna go with anyone who isn't also a total concert pro. None of which works well for making an impression on a female. But I wasn't in that mindset, just I am going to see this band, you can come along but this is how it is.
>
> So I kinda gently explain how I am not really good concert company. Not to mention my resurgent marijuana habit (thanks lockdown, goodbye ten years) and I had an infused treat I was saving just for this show.
>
> But she goes to lots of concerts too if just the one band and gets it and I am not particularly worried. If it's a spectacular fail I am not going to let it ruin my night. I have no eye on the future here. She says we will split parking and with the free tickets I am not going to cheap out now but it's not something I am going to make a habit of doing every night.
>
> We went, everything went smoothly from getting there with time to spare, It was a great show, we had a great time, I even went to guest services and got us better seats. And we found one free street spot half a block away and closer than even most of the parking lots.
>
> So she got the full look at the Beaver_Fever concert experience that few people understand or enjoy, where I could totally be myself without worry, she could definitely hang, have a good time and we ended up hanging out at my place til 3am and will be seeing each other again.
>
> I don't believe that immediate physical attraction is a must. Not like mutual respect and shared values. There are a few things like she is way older than me and already having physical problems so I am just little discouraged over what my options really are now since I was pretty much excluded from participating for most of my life.
>
> No idea where this is going, I actually have most of the year mapped out with almost nightly concerts and lots of travel with every intention of preserving that. But very satisfied that my social and possible dating life took a new and interesting turn, even if for one night.
>
> I mostly wanted a new like minded friend but I will take any benefits offered.
>
> How's everybody else doing?

Interesting and honest story, IMO. Your point about what kind of communications you are having is well taken, I think, with your age difference a significant issue; and you are able to comment on your own life changes realistically.

I may be older than you, but have had similar experiences and choices. Recently I had a woman come up to me while I was talking to a neighbor, as if threateningly, poking at my eyes, really getting in my face. I said nothing, just looked at her, and what I saw in her eyes was another version of myself. Ended up just mentioning to her that she was angry, then that she was afraid, and she just said, "No." Then I told her I was an old bachelor and she was a young lady, which didn't really address what we saw in each other's eyes. Turns out we became suddenly rather friendly and communicative, as if something romantic had happened.