I dreamed last night that I was standing next to a statue of my penis. It was gently weeping. So was I. Together our tears fell to the ground like water to plant the seeds, and up popped a living penis.

“Are you a genie?”, I asked the statue.

“I am not a genie", the statue replied, "but the genies don't fuck with me."

“But our tear drops, the penis popping up, right out of the ground - that was a miracle, wasn't it? Didn’t you have something to do with it?”

“I am not a miracle worker”, the statue said, “but a lot of miracle type stuff happens when I’m around.”

Then the statue disappeared and the newly sprouted penis stood before me proudly beaming. Glowing. Like Mr. Peanut without clothes. A proud strut to my penis.

“Well Master”, my penis said, “are you ready?”

“Let’s do it”, I said, the boner bending low like an athlete readying for a standing high jump. The it took one giant leap for mankind and attached itself to my groin. I was nude and there were people around. The biggest hard on of my life. A college girl and her friends were staring and giggling.

“Look at that stupid dick”, their leader laughed, “it’s like triple normal size. Looks like it's ready to cream its jeans. I’ll bet that dude is just dying to suck our tits and smell our ass cheeks.” Then, turning to me she said, “Isn’t that right, asshole?”

“Yes, yes”, I blathered anxiously, “that’s right, Mistress.”

She approached with her giggling girlfriends following. “Let’s make that big bone cry”, she said.

Then I woke up. I looked down. I had a boner. First time in 15 years. I’m talking full size, no half measures. Then I woke up again. This time for real. I looked down hoping for a repeat performance but this was the real deal. The flaccid flap fluttered with futile frustration, sputtering like an old car trying to start up. Then it croaked. For good.

On 6/13/2021 12:37 PM, Thomas Joseph wrote:
> I dreamed last night that I was standing next to a statue of my penis. It was gently weeping. So was I. Together our tears fell to the ground like water to plant the seeds, and up popped a living penis.
>
> “Are you a genie?”, I asked the statue.
>
> “I am not a genie", the statue replied, "but the genies don't fuck with me."
>
> “But our tear drops, the penis popping up, right out of the ground - that was a miracle, wasn't it? Didn’t you have something to do with it?”
>
> “I am not a miracle worker”, the statue said, “but a lot of miracle type stuff happens when I’m around.”
>
> Then the statue disappeared and the newly sprouted penis stood before me proudly beaming. Glowing. Like Mr. Peanut without clothes. A proud strut to my penis.
>
> “Well Master”, my penis said, “are you ready?”
>
> “Let’s do it”, I said, the boner bending low like an athlete readying for a standing high jump. The it took one giant leap for mankind and attached itself to my groin. I was nude and there were people around. The biggest hard on of my life. A college girl and her friends were staring and giggling.
>
> “Look at that stupid dick”, their leader laughed, “it’s like triple normal size. Looks like it's ready to cream its jeans. I’ll bet that dude is just dying to suck our tits and smell our ass cheeks.” Then, turning to me she said, “Isn’t that right, asshole?”
>
> “Yes, yes”, I blathered anxiously, “that’s right, Mistress.”
>
> She approached with her giggling girlfriends following. “Let’s make that big bone cry”, she said.
>
> Then I woke up. I looked down. I had a boner. First time in 15 years. I’m talking full size, no half measures. Then I woke up again. This time for real. I looked down hoping for a repeat performance but this was the real deal. The flaccid flap fluttered with futile frustration, sputtering like an old car trying to start up. Then it croaked. For good.
>

I saw something once where it was suggested that you dip your middle
finger in hot sauce and then stick that finger up your ass. Supposedly
that will give you a boner for the ages.

On Sunday, June 13, 2021 at 12:37:01 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> I dreamed last night that I was standing next to a statue of my penis. It was gently weeping. So was I. Together our tears fell to the ground like water to plant the seeds, and up popped a living penis.
>
> “Are you a genie?”, I asked the statue.
>
> “I am not a genie", the statue replied, "but the genies don't fuck with me."
>
> “But our tear drops, the penis popping up, right out of the ground - that was a miracle, wasn't it? Didn’t you have something to do with it?”
>
> “I am not a miracle worker”, the statue said, “but a lot of miracle type stuff happens when I’m around.”
>
> Then the statue disappeared and the newly sprouted penis stood before me proudly beaming. Glowing. Like Mr. Peanut without clothes. A proud strut to my penis.
>
> “Well Master”, my penis said, “are you ready?”
>
> “Let’s do it”, I said, the boner bending low like an athlete readying for a standing high jump. The it took one giant leap for mankind and attached itself to my groin. I was nude and there were people around. The biggest hard on of my life. A college girl and her friends were staring and giggling.
>
> “Look at that stupid dick”, their leader laughed, “it’s like triple normal size. Looks like it's ready to cream its jeans. I’ll bet that dude is just dying to suck our tits and smell our ass cheeks.” Then, turning to me she said, “Isn’t that right, asshole?”
>
> “Yes, yes”, I blathered anxiously, “that’s right, Mistress.”
>
> She approached with her giggling girlfriends following. “Let’s make that big bone cry”, she said.
>
> Then I woke up. I looked down. I had a boner. First time in 15 years. I’m talking full size, no half measures. Then I woke up again. This time for real. I looked down hoping for a repeat performance but this was the real deal. The flaccid flap fluttered with futile frustration, sputtering like an old car trying to start up. Then it croaked. For good.

I am sure there were fine people on both sides of your dick.

> I saw something once where it was suggested that you dip your middle
> finger in hot sauce and then stick that finger up your ass. Supposedly
> that will give you a boner for the ages.

You saw something once? You read it somewhere? Heard it on TV? If it were true you would remember where you heard it because I know the topic is of great importance to you, being Jewish and all. You yourself are not a man and could not care less about men's problems with erectile disfunction. But indirectly you are concerned because one day you might meet an older attractive man you want to fuck. When you find out he can't get it up you're going to be very disappointed, perhaps even murderously angry. On the basis of that truth, I know if you heard about any actual remedies for sagging schlong sadness you would have stored them immediately to your memory banks. On that basis alone I know you are kidding. Too bad, I am ready to try anything including the hot pepper trick. Not only to restore my bone to it's former prideful place in history but also to open up my asshole to for complete bowel evacuation, something I am missing dearly along with the once proud bone.

> I am sure there were fine people on both sides of your dick.

I have a marred couple living beneath my dick - Joe and Cindy Ball. They live within my sack. My Ball-sack. Please don't mess with them, they're good peoples.

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 3:04:40 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > I am sure there were fine people on both sides of your dick.
> I have a marred couple living beneath my dick - Joe and Cindy Ball. They live within my sack. My Ball-sack. Please don't mess with them, they're good peoples.

The Ballsacks. I knew them. They were originally cast to play Ethel and Fred in I love Lucy. Desi Arnaz insisted Harry shave for the part and he refused.

> The Ballsacks. I knew them. They were originally cast to play Ethel and Fred in I love Lucy. Desi Arnaz insisted Harry shave for the part and he refused.

Harry was known affectionately to friends as Harry the Hair because he was hairy all over his body with his nut sack taking down the gold ribbon. Have you noticed that facial and head hair must be cut every not and then. Not so with the ballsack. At least with most guys. But Harry was different. His ballsack hair kept growing to the point where it could be seen hanging out of the cuffs of his pants. One time he tripped on it and got hurt pretty bad. He started cutting his ballsack hair at that point. Just trimming, not shaving. He was adamant about it.

He would say:

My ballsack hair means a lot to me
But not enough to save it
I trim it down every now and then
But I'll be damned if ever I would shave it

On Monday, June 14, 2021 at 11:59:53 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > The Ballsacks. I knew them. They were originally cast to play Ethel and Fred in I love Lucy. Desi Arnaz insisted Harry shave for the part and he refused.
> Harry was known affectionately to friends as Harry the Hair because he was hairy all over his body with his nut sack taking down the gold ribbon. Have you noticed that facial and head hair must be cut every not and then. Not so with the ballsack. At least with most guys. But Harry was different. His ballsack hair kept growing to the point where it could be seen hanging out of the cuffs of his pants. One time he tripped on it and got hurt pretty bad. He started cutting his ballsack hair at that point. Just trimming, not shaving. He was adamant about it.
>
> He would say:
>
> My ballsack hair means a lot to me
> But not enough to save it
> I trim it down every now and then
> But I'll be damned if ever I would shave it

Todays men shave their junk. If a woman told you to shave it would you? Better yet would you let a woman shave it? I got a man beaver.

> Todays men shave their junk. If a woman told you to shave it would you? Better yet would you let a woman shave it? I got a man beaver.

It's hard to believe there’s a guy out there who hasn’t shaved their junk at some point in their life. I did it more than once. It accentuates the cock. Good for narcissists. The base of the dick plus the sack, smooth and clean. But within days it starts to itch and it’s brutal. I don’t blame any woman for not shaving their pubes. A good trim will do. I am not a lover of the bush. I lived with a girl in L.A. - on again, off again - one of the few good looking types I felt comfortable around. I ate her cunt from time to time. I was not in love with it except for the aroma. I loved the aroma of her ass cheeks as well. One day in my early 20s I told her I’d suck her cunt every day if she shaved it, plus her asshole. The next day when she removed her panties everything was bald. Much better without the bush.

But I was never a true lover of pussy sucking. It wasn't long before I began reneging on my promise. She had shaved her junk - just for me. Or so she wanted me to feel. But the truth is it didn't count because she did it without confirmation. When a deal is made with promises attached you don’t just go out and do something then tell the other person they now owe you for it. No, first you ask, “Are you sure you want to do this?”, going deeper into it, like going over a contract, making sure everything is in order and understood by both parties. She felt she had shaved her cunt for me - but she did it without final confirmation. That doesn’t count.

True story. One day at her apartment she was sprawled naked on a chair with her legs slightly apart and me on my knees lapping at her cunt when the door opened and a girlfriend of hers from down the hall walked in and as I looked up to see who it was my girlfriend pointed down to her cunt and said with a smirk, “Down on it!" The dutiful slave. In front of another girl. I wasn't expecting it. I enjoyed the humiliation of it.

On Tuesday, June 15, 2021 at 7:11:20 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Todays men shave their junk. If a woman told you to shave it would you? Better yet would you let a woman shave it? I got a man beaver.
> It's hard to believe there’s a guy out there who hasn’t shaved their junk at some point in their life. I did it more than once. It accentuates the cock. Good for narcissists. The base of the dick plus the sack, smooth and clean. But within days it starts to itch and it’s brutal. I don’t blame any woman for not shaving their pubes. A good trim will do. I am not a lover of the bush. I lived with a girl in L.A. - on again, off again - one of the few good looking types I felt comfortable around. I ate her cunt from time to time. I was not in love with it except for the aroma. I loved the aroma of her ass cheeks as well. One day in my early 20s I told her I’d suck her cunt every day if she shaved it, plus her asshole. The next day when she removed her panties everything was bald. Much better without the bush.
>
> But I was never a true lover of pussy sucking. It wasn't long before I began reneging on my promise. She had shaved her junk - just for me. Or so she wanted me to feel. But the truth is it didn't count because she did it without confirmation. When a deal is made with promises attached you don’t just go out and do something then tell the other person they now owe you for it. No, first you ask, “Are you sure you want to do this?”, going deeper into it, like going over a contract, making sure everything is in order and understood by both parties. She felt she had shaved her cunt for me - but she did it without final confirmation. That doesn’t count.
>
> True story. One day at her apartment she was sprawled naked on a chair with her legs slightly apart and me on my knees lapping at her cunt when the door opened and a girlfriend of hers from down the hall walked in and as I looked up to see who it was my girlfriend pointed down to her cunt and said with a smirk, “Down on it!" The dutiful slave. In front of another girl. I wasn't expecting it. I enjoyed the humiliation of it.

The sex drive is strong in the young men. But it must be harnessed. She was breaking you. Getting you ready for the saddle. But you broke loose. To run free like a real man.

> The sex drive is strong in the young men. But it must be harnessed. She was breaking you. Getting you ready for the saddle. But you broke loose. To run free like a real man.

I was hoping it would go further with her bringing the other girl into it. That happened with her one time when she had a young black girl over for some lesbian sex. She claimed to be part lezzie. Whatever. We were in bed with the Black girl. I started feeling around. She got pissed. She did not like sharing. She was funny that way. Oddly jealous. Yes, I broke free - to be alone with porn. I knew lots of pussy whipped guys in my time, a really sickening sight. But I can understand it. To me there is a certain excitement to being a woman's servant - if she's good looking enough to back up her commands.

On Wednesday, June 16, 2021 at 1:06:18 AM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > The sex drive is strong in the young men. But it must be harnessed. She was breaking you. Getting you ready for the saddle. But you broke loose. To run free like a real man.
> I was hoping it would go further with her bringing the other girl into it.. That happened with her one time when she had a young black girl over for some lesbian sex. She claimed to be part lezzie. Whatever. We were in bed with the Black girl. I started feeling around. She got pissed. She did not like sharing. She was funny that way. Oddly jealous. Yes, I broke free - to be alone with porn. I knew lots of pussy whipped guys in my time, a really sickening sight. But I can understand it. To me there is a certain excitement to being a woman's servant - if she's good looking enough to back up her commands.

I had a chance to do some kinky shit once and did not do it. I was being a gentleman I guess. One more regret. I have quite a few. Some of my biggest regrets are over things I did thinking if I did not do them I would regret it.

> I had a chance to do some kinky shit once and did not do it. I was being a gentleman I guess. One more regret. I have quite a few. Some of my biggest regrets are over things I did thinking if I did not do them I would regret it.

Wow, what a conflicted brain. Beautiful. I am serious when I say I have few if any regrets. If I have any they are good ones, like maybe I should have treated some people better or gotten to know certain older relatives later in life as an adult. But I have few outstanding regrets. I never set my sights too high anyway, so to all of sudden start regretting shit would be kind of phony on my part.

Your comment about things you did thinking if you didn't do them you might regret it reminds me of walking down the street and seeing a lone sock in the gutter and giving it a good kick (no hands) to see if there's anything in it. Maybe a big wad of money or sellable dope. Imagine passing a sock in the gutter and not kicking it to see if there's anything in it. Then a few days later you read a news report about a guy finding a large amount of money in a sock on that very same road. You would regret it, wouldn't you? Yes. And that's why even knowing there's nothing in it you've got to give it a kick.

On Thursday, June 17, 2021 at 12:11:33 AM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > I had a chance to do some kinky shit once and did not do it. I was being a gentleman I guess. One more regret. I have quite a few. Some of my biggest regrets are over things I did thinking if I did not do them I would regret it.
> Wow, what a conflicted brain. Beautiful. I am serious when I say I have few if any regrets. If I have any they are good ones, like maybe I should have treated some people better or gotten to know certain older relatives later in life as an adult. But I have few outstanding regrets. I never set my sights too high anyway, so to all of sudden start regretting shit would be kind of phony on my part.
>
> Your comment about things you did thinking if you didn't do them you might regret it reminds me of walking down the street and seeing a lone sock in the gutter and giving it a good kick (no hands) to see if there's anything in it. Maybe a big wad of money or sellable dope. Imagine passing a sock in the gutter and not kicking it to see if there's anything in it. Then a few days later you read a news report about a guy finding a large amount of money in a sock on that very same road. You would regret it, wouldn't you? Yes. And that's why even knowing there's nothing in it you've got to give it a kick.

What is bigger? Regretting what you did or what you did not do?

> What is bigger? Regretting what you did or what you did not do?

I can regret what I've already done and at the same time tell myself that's the way it is, it's over, nothing I can do about it. Regretting what you did not do has a greedy feel to it. "I should have done this, I should have done that." This is usually heard from people who consider themselves failures which means even if things had gone their way in retrospect they probably would have fucked that up too. So in general my feeling about regrets is they are for losers. I regret not having said this earlier. Sorry.

On Thursday, June 17, 2021 at 10:05:01 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > What is bigger? Regretting what you did or what you did not do?
> I can regret what I've already done and at the same time tell myself that's the way it is, it's over, nothing I can do about it. Regretting what you did not do has a greedy feel to it. "I should have done this, I should have done that." This is usually heard from people who consider themselves failures which means even if things had gone their way in retrospect they probably would have fucked that up too. So in general my feeling about regrets is they are for losers. I regret not having said this earlier. Sorry.

From what I am seeing of the winners I would rather be a loser.

> From what I am seeing of the winners I would rather be a loser.

It is just as hard to be a top loser as a top winner. Both ends of the ladder are hard to get to with the middle all crowded up with non contenders. I have been on that ladder. I almost got to the top once. I was close, very close. But the closer I got the harder it became. So I decided to try the loser's on the low end of the ladder. I never got there. Too tough. Too exhausting. I am writing this from somewhere in the middle of a ladder I want off of now. But I'm too high up to jump. I'm looking for a place to settle in but it's not easy with people crawling all over me in both directions. Yes, from my own experiences I can guarantee it's just as hard to be a top loser than a top winner. Even the middle is rough. Off the ladder completely is best. I should have considered that when I was lower to the ground. But I was greedy. I wanted to go up. And I did. But not far enough. I was never at the top and cannot verify claims I've heard that it's even tougher for the top dog than anyone. When you reach the top of the mountain you become part of the mountain. In that same way the top dog on the ladder becomes part of the ladder itself and there is no way off. Not ever.

On Friday, June 18, 2021 at 9:51:47 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > From what I am seeing of the winners I would rather be a loser.
> It is just as hard to be a top loser as a top winner. Both ends of the ladder are hard to get to with the middle all crowded up with non contenders. I have been on that ladder. I almost got to the top once. I was close, very close. But the closer I got the harder it became. So I decided to try the loser's on the low end of the ladder. I never got there. Too tough. Too exhausting. I am writing this from somewhere in the middle of a ladder I want off of now. But I'm too high up to jump. I'm looking for a place to settle in but it's not easy with people crawling all over me in both directions. Yes, from my own experiences I can guarantee it's just as hard to be a top loser than a top winner. Even the middle is rough. Off the ladder completely is best. I should have considered that when I was lower to the ground. But I was greedy. I wanted to go up. And I did. But not far enough. I was never at the top and cannot verify claims I've heard that it's even tougher for the top dog than anyone. When you reach the top of the mountain you become part of the mountain. In that same way the top dog on the ladder becomes part of the ladder itself and there is no way off. Not ever.

I skipped the ladder and looked for the elevator. It was out of order.

> I skipped the ladder and looked for the elevator. It was out of order.

Hey, that's my line. No, not really. If there were an elevator it would be so crowded it couldn't take off in any direction. Stuck. Can't get any more out of order than that except for plummeting to earth from 100 stories up. You don't hear too often about elevator accidents. Must be rare. But decades ago I was in the habit of cutting odd or funny short articles from the newspaper and making an album of them. One story was about a gold or silver mine elevator that went down in Africa someplace. It was hilarious with a very geometric delivery. There were 12 mean aboard. The elevator was 12 feet high and wide. It was in a shaft 1.2 miles deep. When it went down and landed below all 12 men were reduced to pulp and the elevator's 12 feet in all directions was reduced to 12 inches.

On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 2:23:08 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > I skipped the ladder and looked for the elevator. It was out of order.
> Hey, that's my line. No, not really. If there were an elevator it would be so crowded it couldn't take off in any direction. Stuck. Can't get any more out of order than that except for plummeting to earth from 100 stories up. You don't hear too often about elevator accidents. Must be rare. But decades ago I was in the habit of cutting odd or funny short articles from the newspaper and making an album of them. One story was about a gold or silver mine elevator that went down in Africa someplace. It was hilarious with a very geometric delivery. There were 12 mean aboard. The elevator was 12 feet high and wide. It was in a shaft 1.2 miles deep. When it went down and landed below all 12 men were reduced to pulp and the elevator's 12 feet in all directions was reduced to 12 inches.

Modern elevators in buildings have a braking mechanism in case of free fall.. They are taking the fun out of life by preventing death.

> Modern elevators in buildings have a braking mechanism in case of free fall. They are taking the fun out of life by preventing death.

Even as a kid I don't remember ever reading about a fatal elevator crash. I'm sure it's happened but I think it's rare. I'll bet if the elevator were open where everyone aboard could see its workings, the cables, the wires, the connections, etc., they'd have their eyes glued to it the whole way up or down. Yes it's amazing how we can get into a box taking us up 100 stories and we never even think about it. Well, do think about it, sometimes. I don't dwell on it though. But if it were an open elevator I'll bet I'd have my eyes peeled on this and that the whole way. "That cable looks a little frayed", or, "Is that wire totally connected?", are only a few questions to ask on the way up or down on the elevator of life.

> The elevator of life or the stairway to heaven or the road to hell. You are in control. You pick the floor. You go as far as you want. But watch out that sign post up ahead....

As small as the slit is at the end of the down escalator do you ever think about getting the edge of your shoe caught in it and being sucked into the unseen subterranean escalator vortex? I don't care much for cartoons on TV.. I don't like the artwork for Family Guy or whatever it's called. I don't like the way they make the main character's face inflexible, bent to one side - it bugs me. But I saw one scene that made me laugh. He was bumping into things and hurting himself on one thing after another till he yelled in frustration, "God, I wish I didn't have any bones", and the next thing you know he is a blob. Same face, same head, but just a lump of boneless flesh for a body. He is with his family going down an excavator and gets blob-sucked into the tiny slot with his family yanking him out just in time. That was pretty funny.

> I read about a kid getting torn apart by an escalator. He got caught in the handrail I think. It haunts me every time I see one.

Wow. Torn apart. You mean to death? I'd love to read about that one. Of course there are degrees of torn apart. Was it James Dean style? I need to know. Never thought about the handrail. Probably some heavy duty suing going on after that incident. I'm going to google 'kid caught in escalator handrail' and see what comes up.

Wow, more than one came up. One was about a kid whose hand was caught in the rail. Then there was one with a video about a kid whose head was caught in one. The video was taken from too far away to catch exactly how it happened. I'm trying to imagine how a fucking head can get caught in an escalator handrail. I am planning on going to the mall - which I hate - sometime this week or next. I will closely examine the rails at that time to get some idea of just how a head could fit in. Interesting, funny, obviously possible, and just as obviously in this day and age of the ever present video smartphone possibly contrived and acted out. Isn't it funny how the tape recorder has never been accepted as proof in the courtroom yet the video tape is. A video tape can just as easily be doctored as an audio version. Maybe even easier having more to work with.

Triple E - "Emulsification Escalator Execution."

> I am sure there is a disclaimer on the escalator about children and hand rails. Enough to where it is not the escalator companies fault. I got a similar warning on my gun. Not responsible for anyone in the way of my bullets..

How about a bullet that zips around at dizzying speed and never stops till it finds it's intended target whose DNA is implanted into the bullet. No matter where he goes or where he hides the bullet just keeps coming. "This one has your name on it my friend."

> I bet they exist. Like the one that just got McAfee.

I had to google McAfee, never heard of the guy. I'll read more about him later. Then maybe I won't. I don't know. I just don't know. I bought a newspaper today. The Friday New York Times. Thick. I'm thinking I'll get a decent mag out of it. I got maybe 4 articles and that's it, none of them outstanding. It's all about gender, race, and other trending shit. I used to do pretty well wading through the crap to get what I wanted. Not so anymore. Anyway, what I get in the paper in the way of what we call the news is usually a day or two late. I like it that way. There are times I'd prefer faster reporting. But overall, if I had to take too fast or too slow I'll go with too slow.

My future will be the past I never lived